Willing to Die for Jesus?

I often wonder why can't we win our world? Is it because we are not willing to go to the extent of what God wants to do in our life no matter what?? I looked up the deaths of some of the Apostles. I found it interesting and it brought conviction upon me that I need to not have a fluffy kind of Christianity, but rather a kind that I believe in so much so I'm willing to die for it. As you read through these try to ask yourself how far am I willing to let Jesus take me.

The Deaths of the Apostles

Matthew suffered martyrdom in Ethopia, killed by a sword wound.

Mark died in Alexandria, Egypt, dragged by horses through the streets until he was dead.

Luke was hanged in Greece as a result of his tremendous preaching to the lost.

John was boiled in a huge basin of boiling oil during a wave of persecution in Rome. However, he was miraculously delivered from death. John was then sentenced to the mines on the prison island of Patmos where he wrote his prophetic Book of Revelation. The Apostle John was later freed and returned to serve as a bishop in modern Turkey. He died an old man, the only Apostle to die peacefully.

Peter,was crucified upside down on an x-shaped cross, according to Church tradition, because he told his tormentors that he felt unworthy to die the same way that Jesus Christ had died.

James the Just, the leader of the Church in Jerusalem and brother of Jesus, was thrown down more than a hundred feet from the southeast pinnacle of the Temple when he refused to deny his faith in Christ. When they discovered that he survived the fall, his enemies beat James to death with a fuller's club. This was the same pinnacle where Satan had taken Jesus during the Temptation.

James the Greater, a son of Zebedee, was a fisherman by trade when Jesus called him to a lifetime of ministry. As a strong leader of the Church, James was ultimately beheaded at Jerusalem. The Roman soldier who guarded James watched amazed as James defended his faith at his trial. Later, the officer walked beside James to the place of execution. Overcome by conviction, he declared his new faith to the judge and knelt beside James to accept beheading as a Christian.

Bartholomew, also known as Nathanael, was a missionary to Asia. He witnessed about our Lord in present day Turkey. He was whipped to death for his preaching in Armenia.

Thomas was speared and died on one of his missionary trips to establish the Church in India.

Jude, another brother of Jesus, was killed with arrows after refusing to deny his faith in Christ.

Matthias, the Apostle chosen to replace the traitor Judas Iscariot, was stoned and beheaded.

Barnabas, one of the group of seventy disciples, was stoned to death at Salonica.

Paul was tortured and then beheaded by the evil Emperor Nero at Rome in A.D. 67. Paul endured a lengthy imprisonment which allowed him to write his many epistles to the Churches he had formed throughout the Roman Empire. These letters, which taught many of the foundational doctrines of Christianity, from a large portion of the New Testament.

What kind of faith do you have?

A Woman's Heart

This is a short blog entry, however very effective. Especially for all of those singles out there, and that means both men and women. Here is a quote that stuck out to me:

"A woman's heart should be so lost in God that a man needs to seek Him in order to find her."

That's how I found my girl, and I pray that for your life! In fact I pray that even after you're married this is still your goal and objective. Good truth!

Fast Modified

So I was talking with my wife and one of my biggest things I want out of my fast is to be a more Godly husband. However when I fast most of the time I don't eat, and this leaves no intimacy time with my wife where we just talk. This is a terrible thing because intimacy is a staple to a good marriage especially a Christ centered one. Well since she said to me that "We haven't talked since you've been fasting!" Well that made me feel like crap because it was defeating the purpose that I was trying to accomplish. I realized that I was being more religious than a Christian and me being religious was keeping me from being a Christ centered husband. So we came up with the compromise for me to eat 2 meals a week with her that I like to call "Intimacy Meals". I have left it up to her discretion on when I can eat and sometimes she gives me the option. They don't all have to be just me and her however at least one a week does. I like this idea because it allows me to eat (obviously I'm all for that) and we can look forward to talking together. I encourage you if you're married or in a relationship to take time to find "Intimacy Meals", they really are a good time and you'll enjoy them! I'm looking forward to this week because of them and know that Christ will be in the middle of them!

Respectful Hand Washing

In my class I'm takng (The Old Tesstament) we had to read some chapters in our book and comment on things that stuck out to me. So here is one of the things I wrote:

On page 600 of our text book I found the part where it says “The rabbinic ruling, which reflected the value of the books, discouraged irreverent mishandling of them by insisting on the washing of hands after touching them.” I find it very interesting that they took it so seriously that they were even handling the Word of God that they had to wash their hands. It makes me think of how they were with the very name of God and how they wouldn’t speak it. I think of how we as modern day Christians handle the Word of God and His name. Do we view God in such reverence as they did or do we view Him as an obligation. They didn’t look upon reading the scriptures as something they HAD to do, but rather something they got to do. I want to live in that spirit where I have a longing and passion for God and His Word. I want to show respect to it by preaching it with such passion and desire that others may see Him. I want to wash my hands with my life by showing others a life lived for Christ.

I Run

The following is a poem I wrote inspired from the sermon "Run" by Carter Conlon.

I run because if I sit idle I sit in Satan's grasp and in his control and become a puppet for him.

I run from false "teachers" and "preachers" who are more focused on stories than the Word.

I run from moments that are questionable and may seem as though I don't love Jesus.

I run at the thought of a selfish moment that only pleases and gratifies me.

I run from the "obligations" that I have to anything other than Jesus.

I run from myself and what I want, for it is my life and I don't want it.

I run from the roles I seem to create other than a child of the Father.

I run from the Christian Box I relax in and never see the edges of.

I run from comfort and people full of sin who make me that way.

I run from the impersonators who are a wolf in sheep's clothing.

I run from the silver tongued devil that is called compromise.

I run because He is…

He is my soul.

He is my definition.

He is my heartbeat.

He is the rhythm which I march to.

He is the reason I wake, eat, sleep, preach.

He is the newness with which I’m filled daily.

He is a new revelation that is revealed to me through Truth.

He is a look of love that is only received from others who love Him.

He is my passion, my tears, my purpose, my obsession, my excitement and my joy.

He is the reason for reasons.

You may ask why I run…

I run for my life, because I am nothing without Him.

And where do I run to? I run into the arms of the One and Only who IS my

Salvation.

Purchased To Be Free

So my good friend Nathan sent me this link and it was quite moving to watch!! I wanted to share this with people because it brought me to tears! It is one of my all time favorite preachers and a video with it. Don't worry it's not an entire sermon it's just a clip from it but it's so moving! I encourage you to watch it and let me know what you think!! It's the following link:

http://braveheartedgospel.com/

Then click on the Paris Reidhead video labeled "Come"

Moving to say the least!!

120 Day Fast

So I feel as though I've fallen back into some of my old ways and need God to take control of my life in every way. I'm going to be fasting from today until the end of the year. That will be a total of 122 days. I've talked with my doctor and all is well so there is no reason to freak out like everybody in my family. I feel as though there are several areas in my life that need change and obviously getting closer to Jesus is the main reason but here are some reasons I'm going to be focusing on during this fast:


Journaling
Scripture Reading
Being a Spiritual Leader
Weight Loss
Prayer Life
Preaching
Sermon Writing

I just feel as though before when I fasted for 40 days that I had this closer walk with Him and more of a sensitivity to His movement. I want that back and I know that He will reveal Himself in a new and fresh way to me. I'm excited to dig deeper into the Word and write some sermons. I will be blogging weekly instead of daily because of the craziness that I call a schedule and I doubt anybody would want to read it daily. I'll try to include pictures this time and it will be more of what I'm experiencing and stuff like that. I'm excited and will obviously keep you updated.

Part 3

As the music played and all the formalities of a church service went on I was getting kinda nervous because I didn't know how people would react to this, I had never preached looking like a homeless man. I had never preached where everybody didn't know I was the speaker, and I had to hide who I really was. It was just everything all wrapped up into one that made me anxious about the whole situation. The announcements were made and I could tell that everybody that normally sat where I was didn't sit there today because I was almost alone in my row. After a few songs were sung it was greeting time and I was anxious to see how people would or would not greet me and still didn't know how people would react. The offering came and the usher on my side didn't even offer me the plate to put money in. However when there was a kid's offering later they did offer it to me. I found that interesting.





I don't know if you have seen the cardboard testimonies video on Youtube but you should!! They did their own version of the video on there and each person came out with their cardboard and showed who/what they were before they were saved. Then on the back who/what they were after they were saved. It was pretty moving and I wanted to cry however I didn't want to blow my cover so I remained calm. After this I knew I was on, so the Pastor got up and began to speak and I got a few butterflies in my stomach. He said that there was somebody who was at the outreach yesterday and that we had got to know each other and he invited me up.





I walked up there as Perry, and he continued on and said that they had a nick name for me and it was Perry. However that my real name is Nick Jones and that I was a Nazarene evangelist and the guest speaker for the day. The faces were priceless, mouths dropped, eyes got bigger and you could almost see the gears turning in their heads thinking "Did I talk to this guy? If I did what did I say?" In fact there was one guy who was sitting up a little bit from my wife and he actually said out loud "WOW."



I began to speak while unpacking some of my bag onto the altar "There were some of you that talked to me yesterday and today, and those of you who did gave me a lot of things." I placed those "things" on the altar as I listed them off. I continued on and said "You even told me when and where church was and invited me to come to church. However NOT ONE of you said anything to me about Jesus! I found this shocking and disturbing." I then read the verse out of Matthew 25:40 “The King will reply, ‘I tell you the truth, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers of mine, you did for me.’ You could hear a pin drop on the floor and it was carpet. I then proceeded into my sermon and gave my testimony.



As I was giving an altar call I noticed a few people coming up and didn't think anything of it, that was pretty much the way they went. However about the point where I was about to stand up and give a closing prayer or have the Pastor do it, I look up and there he is. He started to say that he was nervous and didn't want to say what he was about to say but felt God leading him to do so. I started to freak out a little because I didn't know what he was going to say. He then proceeded on to talk about a man that was down at the altar and that his name was Joe. Joe had taken care of his mother for 3 years until she died and now was homeless. The Pastor had talked with Joe the day before and said that Joe had got saved. Now he was down at the altar praying for God to be Lord of all in his life.

The Pastor then went on to say that Joe needed help and asked them "What are we going to do to help Joe out?" It was very silent and I could hear that pin drop again. After a few minutes he asked everybody to come forward and form a circle around Joe and the entire church prayed for this man. It was not light fluffy prayer (if there is such a thing), but deep heart felt prayer that caused tears and sobbing to occur. I was taken back because for the first time (maybe ever) I was witnessing a New Testament Church showing what should be done for somebody in need. They asked what he needed and he had only the clothes on his back. So I gave him my backpack with food and a blanket in it. They asked what size shoe he wore and it was a 12, well I wear a size 12 so I took the shoes I was wearing off and gave them to him. Another man asked what size shirt he wore and gave him the shirt he was wearing (he was wearing an undershirt, don't worry no nudity in the church). The Pastor offered Joe to come to his house later and take a shower and shave. It was amazing to watch the selfishness that we all seem to have dissolve away because the Holy Spirit was on fire inside.

Lunch was awesome, a group of us stayed at the church and had KFC to eat with Joe and it was nice to fellowship with him and find out his likes and stories. Later on that night the church raised enough money for Joe to stay in a hotel room for a week and people were donating clothes and food left and right. They also bought him a cooler to keep all the food in and I believe there was even a bike that was donated. Now I look back at that situation and wonder how many churches would have done the same thing? Would your pastor have taken it upon himself to feel the movement of God enough to say something like that? Would your congregation have been as selfless as this one was? Would something like this bring you together more, or split you apart? Why is it so much of a shocker and a rare occurrence that things like this happen? Shouldn't we be expecting things like this to happen, and shouldn't it happen more often? I hope and pray you are encouraged not only to look at people in a different way, or witnessing in a different way, but that you will want your church to catch fire like this one did/has. What A Jesus!!!

Part 2

Well my aunt dropped me off in front of the church at 8 or so and I walked to the front door to setup shop there. I pulled out of my bag my blanket, a sign I had made that said "Homeless and need help. Please spare change. God Bless." I had a cup we had picked up at Tim Horton's and I put out my little Gideon Bible. I then put my book bag next to me and sat down, covered up, and leaned on the church to fall asleep. Not long after I did this I heard something going on inside the church and voices were getting closer. I didn't move, some because I was still tired, but mostly so that it looked like I slept there all night. After a few minutes a guy opened the front door and and asked if I wanted to come in and get warm. I declined the offer and told him I was fine out there. He asked if I wanted some coffee (which I don't drink anymore) but I thought sure that would warm me up so I accepted. I gathered up my things and put them in my back pack and walked in behind him. Nervous looking and surveying every room I walked slowly with a slouched body language and a head hung as of a broken man. He took me into the Pastor's office and the Pastor introduced himself again and said that they would see what they could do for me and so I was taken into a large room where socials are held and given some coffee and cookies. After a while the guy who invited me in brought me a half eaten bag of Frito Twists and a can of Vienna Sausages. I quickly put them in my bag and held onto the coffee for warmth. There was also a Sunday School class being held at the tables where I was seated and the Sunday School teacher had looked on my website and found that I was going to be at that church so he called the Pastor and found out, but he kept it hush hush. So as people came into class they introduced me as Perry and said I was at the Block Bash that they had held the day previously. Kind words were said but they were few and quick because I definitely was stinking and probably wasn't the person they thought of when the word "visitor" was said. So I went through Sunday School class and since I had been sitting there for 2 hours my seat was starting to hurt my butt so I squirmed and scooted around to make it a little more comfy. At one point the guy sitting next to me offered to share his Sunday School and when the teacher got up and went to look for another one the guy sitting next to me patted my leg and after his hand left there was a $20 bill!! I didn't say anything and just put it in my pocket and was amazed that somebody would do that!! The Sunday School teacher came back unsuccessful but the guy next to me offered me his book to share so I looked at it and it was so hard not to say something because it was about scripture, my favorite topic!! After Sunday school the guy who was sitting next to me offered to take me into the sanctuary and wanted to know if I needed to use the restroom so I said I did. I still had the coffee that I don't drink, so I dumped that into the toilet and took a break for a second and straightened up my back for a second because it was hurting to be slumped over all that time. As I came out of the bathroom I just walked past everybody and tried to sneak into the sanctuary. However I was stopped by a couple of greeters and they handed me a bag of goodies for being a visitor. I had talked previously with the Pastor about where to sit to see who would feel uncomfortable with me around. He told me and I headed that way as I entered, however they were already there, so I sat in front of them, I figured if nothing else they would at least smell me! As the service started a few people greeted me but the music started and the service was about to begin everybody took their seats....

Homeless For A Day, Seeing A New Testament Church Part 1

So I was asked by Portsmouth First Church of the Nazarene to preach at a special Sunday service this past week and it turned out to be something that would be stuck with me (in a good way). The thing was it was not an ordinary thing where they asked me to just speak, they had other plans that went along with it. They had an outreach planned for Saturday where they have a park nearby and kind of took it over. They have a stage there and the band was playing, they were giving out hot dogs, chips, juice, cotton candy, popcorn, they had blow ups where the kids could play on, booths and other misc stuff going on. It was pretty awesome, it was a good turn out and several people from the church were there. Well I was to show up at this event they had as a homeless guy and see what the reactions would be. So I had a black zip up hoodie, black cargo pants, older sneakers, white V-neck undershirt, and an old beat up Auburn hat. Well I stayed at my Aunt's house and before I went over I dirtied up myself and my clothes (not to say all homeless people are dirty, but how much of a stereotype do we have to think that?). I had my cousin drop me off across the street and slowly made my way over to the park. It was interesting to see people not say anything to me until one guy with a camera invite me over to get some food. So I went through the line and got a couple of hot dogs, some chips, and a juice. Oh yeah and also a flyer. So I sat down and started eating my food off to the side and up came a gentleman named Kevin and he was very friendly. He introduced himself, his wife, and kids. Well he introduced pretty much everybody who came nearby. He asked me my name and I told him Barrett but somehow he got Perry so I just went with it. He invited me to church and told me when and where it was. I finished and made my way around the platform on to the children's section of the park where they had games and things going on and nobody seemed to even acknowledge me being there. I walked by with a slight slump in my stature and had my hat pulled down over my eyes. I tried to be as stand-offish as possible and it definitely worked. I made my way completely around the stage and back to the beginning and just stood next to people to see what the reactions would be. Needless to say the men held their wives tighter, no one made eye contact, people avoided me in a general sense. It was a horrible feeling of being an outsider that I don't wish on anybody. Although nobody said it I felt as though they were saying "Why don't you get lost bum and leave us alone." It was a shocking feeling and I never thought a church would ever do that to a person. I spoke shortly with the pastors and they asked me to go over to an individual and sit next to him and start up a conversation. As I started walking towards him he got up and walked away. I went through the line again and got seconds, but this time I put it in my backpack that I had with me which contained a blanket, Gideon Bible, and other odds and ends. As the event ended I tried to reach my wife on the pastor's wife's cell phone but she left her cell in the car. So I was forced to walk back to my Aunt's house which was 1 mile away. 1 mile might not be much for skinny people however with us biggins we have a little bit more trouble with that. It didn't seem too bad though and before long I was there. Once I got there my wife and aunt were there and told me that I stunk because I hadn't taken a shower in a day or so, plus I had been sweating for a mile so I was ripe! I decided to shower so that my wife would sleep next to me that night. The rest of the night I had to myself and I hung out with some family and got to bed early so I could get up and see what the reaction would be. I got up at about ten til 8 and had my aunt drive me over to the church where I set up for the morning that would be remembered...

My Bucket List

So Mindy and I rented truly one of the greatest movies of all time The Bucket List. So it got me to thinking what my Bucket List would be and this is what I have so far:

Get In Shape/Stay in Shape
Give someone a "Free Lunch"
Cruise
Preach in every State
Deep Sea Fishing
Preach overseas
Mini Marathon
Half Triathlon
Alaskan Cruise
White Water Rafting
Mission Trip
Become 501 c3
Become full time evangelist
Write a book
Get Ordained
Get Masters
Get Doctorate
Preach at General Assembly
Preach at Central Ohio Church Camp
Street Preach
Start CD of the Month Club
Start Newsletter
Visit Cooperstown, NY
Preach at an Olivet Chapel Service

Some of these might seem stupid to you and I don't know if I'll ever get to do all of them, however it's MY Bucket List so far. I could and probably will add to this and I'm sure there are some things that should be on here that aren't but it's late and I'm tired and this is what I came up with. What is your Bucket List?

Just Cause

It's been a while since I've posted anything and it's kind of frustrating. However I'm going to attempt to get back into the swing of things. I recently set up the RSS feed thing on Outlook (I'm a nerd I know) and I was very excited. I'm finding that I love Outlook because everything is in there!! Well this is all for this post but I'm hoping there is a lot more to come. Until that time comes,

Peace, Love and Hair Grease!

Big Pappa

Day 35- Why Am I A Christian?

I was reading the beginning of this article and the author of it is Bertrand Russell and it read:


"As your chairman has told you, the subject about which I am going to speak to you tonight is "Why I Am Not a Christian." Perhaps it would be as well, first of all, to try to make out what one means by the word "Christian." It is used in these days in a very loose sense by a great many people. Some people mean no more by it than a person who attempts to live a good life. In that sense I suppose there would be Christians in all sects and creeds; but I do not think that that is the proper sense of the word, if only because it would imply that all the people who are not Christians -- all the Buddhists, Confucians, Mohammedans, and so on -- are not trying to live a good life. I do not mean by a Christian any person who tries to live decently according to his lights. I think that you must have a certain amount of definite belief before you have a right to call yourself a Christian. The word does not have quite such a full-blooded meaning now as it had in the times of St. Augustine and St. Thomas Aquinas. In those days, if a man said that he was a Christian it was known what he meant. You accepted a whole collection of creeds which were set out with great precision, and every single syllable of those creeds you believed with the whole strength of your convictions."

Wow this makes me question why I am a Christian. How many people do I know that are thinking they are Christians just because they are living a good life. They don't have convictions or beliefs, they just do the right thing and expect the title. However there is much more to it than doing what is right, it isn't even about doing that, although you do, it is about having the person hood of Jesus living inside of you and pushing out of you who He is. It is about getting so wrapped up in Jesus you get mistaken for who He is. It is letting yourself be bare before your world so that they can see the scars of where the Word has cut you and you bleed the blood that is pure. It is not only these things but being the consistent in an inconsistent world, a light to the world's darkness, a hope for those who are lost. We must be Jesus to our world, not by deeds, but by the indwelt person of Christ spilling out of our mouth. I pray this prayer every day so that my world doesn't guess whether or not I am His or not. I want to be set apart for this Divine purpose of His to win my world by allowing Him to work through me. Let it be so Jesus!

Day 34- I am...

I recently started my class on Spiritual Formation and the questions were:

Who am I? What am I searching for? Why am I here?
Here are my answers:

Well the answer to the first question would definitely have to be that I am a sinner saved by grace and nothing more. I don't deserve the grace that I have received however I have because He is that loving that He literally defines the word! I am a person who is letting the person of Christ indwell me so much to the point that He is changing the way I think, act, love and many more things. I am a man possessed with the Spirit and I'm acting out of the filling that I have of Him and splashing Him everywhere I go because the simple fact that He is so big I can't contain Him in myself that He just overflows. I am a student and am learning of areas of my life that could be considered the "dark corners" that I seem to hold on to and will give everything to Him except those. I am discovering those corners and repenting of those and giving them up to Him so He can dominate every part of my life even down to the food I eat! I am definitely a seeker of Christ so much so that I am addicted to Him and only Him so that He becomes so big in my life that I cannot see anything but Him. He becomes the gate for all other things in my life to flow through and get filtered out if they are not of Him. The entire reason that I exist or the reason that I'm here is to serve Him and to be transparent so that He can be seen in and through my life. I am the broken pot, empty vessel, or the unfinished clay that He continues to mold towards His very image. I am being stretched and grown continually in Him and realize that is it not constant tests but Holiness that drives me towards the person of who He is. I live only to glorify the name of Jesus and to have His story told in and through me. I testify to the gospel of God's grace that has happened and continues to happen in my life. I am a living, walking, talking, breathing, eating testimony of the person of Christ! 1 Corinthians 15:10 says it best "But by the grace of God I am what I am..." I am nothing without the person of Jesus!

Day 33- Shout!

As I was reading in the Old Testament today I came across my favorite Psalm that I memorized when I was little. It's Psalm 95:1-7, it tells us: "Come, let us sing for joy to the Lord; let us shout aloud to the Rock of our salvation. Let us come before him with thanksgiving and extol him with music and song. For the Lord is the great God, the great King above all gods. In his hand are the depths of the earth, and the mountain peaks belong to him. The sea is his, for he made it, and his hands formed the dry land. Come, let us bow down in worship, let us kneel before the Lord our Maker for he is our God and we are the people of his pasture, the flock under his care." I don't know about you but that's powerful to me, how can I sit still and be in church and just cross my arms and not SHOUT?? I mean we shout generally when something is overbearing either in a good way or a bad way, so since Jesus is so good to me and love me so much and just overwhelms me I have to SHOUT!! Have you ever been overwhelmed so much that you've shouted? Sure you have, maybe you've been overwhelmed with pain, or so frustrated that you had to, or so joyful that the only thing left to do is SHOUT! I want to have that be the only outcome of my life is to live in a constant state of SHOUTING. Maybe not with words but with my actions and my lifestyle. I need to be SHOUTING up to Him with everything that I do, think or say!! Let everything that I have be a SHOUT up to you of just praise and adoration!! I don't want to live one more moment in silence because I'm just spilling over with Jesus and the only response is to SHOUT!!! So I SHOUT and SHOUT to the most high with my unworthy SHOUTS but I give all I am to the SHOUTING that You deserve!

Day 32- Demons In The Synagogue

In Mark 1:21-28 it talks of Jesus driving out a demon that was in a man. What part I found interesting on this was the fact that the demon was possessing a man that was in the synagogue. Have you ever thought that there is no way that a demon or satan himself could never be in church? I know I have before because we always view church as a sacred and safe place. However this tells us that the demon was in church, and I wondered how could this be? The fact of the matter is that we can bring demons, or even satan himself into the church. Then the question has been asked before what is church? Is church a building with 4 walls and a roof? Of course not, we are the new houses of prayer so WE ARE THE CHURCH. It is not the building we go to, we compile the church itself and when we get together we are a unified church because the Jesus that lives inside of me is connected with the Jesus that is inside you and it's a glorious time of worship and praise because we just can't help ourselves. So how then do demons or does satan break into this sacred ground that we call church? The answer is simple and disturbing, we allow him to come in, and of course when we allow him to come in then Jesus leaves. We often times have a hard time grasping this however you can't have both satan and Jesus living in the same house, I mean talk about a conflict of interest!! You can't have the pure divine nature of God living inside of you and the carnal, dark, self serving nature of the devil living in there also. It is impossible!!! I know that back in the 90s the popular thing was to have a ying yang. It is a circle and it's like two curved tear drops and one is black and one is white. In each side there is a dot of the opposite color in them and this signified that there was a little good in all evil and a little evil in all good. Of course I had one of these things and didn't comprehend the fullness of what it meant, but now I look at that "symbol" and get mad! I mean how can it say that Jesus has some bad in Him and that the devil has some good in him? That is just impossible, we know this because it says so in His word. 1 John 1:5-7 "This is the message we have heard from him and declare to you: God is light; in him there is no darkness at all. If we claim to have fellowship with him yet walk in the darkness, we lie and do not live by the truth. But if we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus, his Son, purifies us from all sin." So that being said, we cannot have both living inside of us, either we are this on fire beaming light for Christ or we are in the darkness that satan calls home. Which are you? Do you have Demons In Your Synagogue? Or are you a house of prayer that Jesus dwells in? Lord let me never think that I can be on the fence, or live in the gray area of You because I know there isn't such a thing. Let me be Your beam of light in a dark world!

Day 31- No Real Estate In Heaven

We have all heard about the "mansions" in heaven that there will be. It is so funny because we often think of an actual house. However if you get to the root of the word it means "Dwelling Place". I love this concept, this concept of Dwelling Place gives the idea that there won't be a physical house up there, but yet that WE will be the dwelling place or the mansion. Now you might be thinking that if we are "mansions" then we're going to be huge and it's going to be one huge buffet in the sky. No no, this just means that when we get up there He has a perfect body ready and waiting for us so that He can live inside of us even more because it's not a body cursed with sin. Man I know how this must be to so many songs out there that focus on the actual house itself but that isn't what He's talking about at all. Another thing too we often get wrapped up in the streets of gold and pearly gates aspect of heaven too. I find this amusing because up there do you really think we'll have a need for money? Will the worth that it is down here be the same up there? I doubt it, we look at those as a precious thing, but I want to be so into Him that those things don't matter. I feel like those are things that we just relate to and that heaven will be so much more than fine jewelry and gold. The true value of it will be that we get to see our Creator and Savior. I can't wait to see Him and just to bask in the presence of His glory up there and be able to with a perfect body. Wow that will be quite a time. We often sing of how we will have victory up there some day. But I think again that's so off because I have victory down here right now because my victory rests in the person of Christ!! And if I have Him now then I have VICTORY!! Jesus never let me focus on the perishable things of heaven, or even heaven itself. I want to be completely focused on You, wrapped up in You, honed in on You!! Let that be the center of my living and my life and not material things because I know that there is No Real Estate In Heaven!

Day 30- Pervert Of A Preacher

I listened to a "preacher" the other day and was disgusted at how he was using the scripture. He took a topic and wrapped various texts around this to make it sound like he wanted it to. As I sat there I realized that he was perverting the Word and making it say something that it wasn't. This really bothered me and I almost stood up and said something, in hindsight I should have. But the fact that he was wrapping the Word around his idea and not the other way around made me think of him as a Pervert. He was misusing and violating the Word of God to make himself look good in a sense, and make him feel good about his topic. I feel very strongly about this and I think that is obvious by the words I'm using. But I believe it goes even more so into our lives when somebody does that, it shows that we seem to wrap the Scripture around our lives and not the other way around. I believe that we need to wrap our lives around the Scripture and if we need to bend or even break because of it then so be it! I don't want to be perverse in my preaching, I want Him to speak out of me so I'm not taking a chance to making the message polluted with my thoughts. If I speak out of my knowledge then it is only limited to the amount of wisdom, and insight that can be and it might not reach every person. But when we preach the Word or use the Word in our lives then it can't be limited because He is not. We can't keep on living like we do in a world where this is OK that "preachers" will get up on Sunday morning or whenever it is and pollute the Word. I have said this before in previous blogs but we must be so rooted in the Word that we see a wolf in the sheep's wool! Lord be so big in my life that I do nothing but emit an odor that is You. I want so deeply to wrap my life around You and Your Word! Don't ever let me get in the way of Your teaching and NEVER let me be a Pervert Of A Preacher! Let Your pure words come from my mouth so that it touches everyone on every level of their life.

Day 29- So Righteous I'm Sick

In Mark 2:16-17 it says: "When the teachers of the law who were Pharisees saw him eating with the “sinners” and tax collectors, they asked his disciples: “Why does he eat with tax collectors and ‘sinners’?” On hearing this, Jesus said to them, “It is not the healthy who need a doctor, but the sick. I have not come to call the righteous, but sinners.” I found these verses so interesting because Jesus said He's not calling the righteous, but sinners. I wonder why that is? Could it be because people that are "righteous" are so wrapped up in themselves and think they operate out of their own power? And that maybe "sinners" realize they need something more and just don't know what it is? So why call a righteous person when they think they're being called because of the works that they are doing, when that's not the case at all. They are being called because of God's love for them and wanting them to draw closer to Him. I am not sure, I haven't go this far in my studies as far as expositionally but reading it over and seeing that makes me think so much. I don't want to be so righteous that people look at me and think that I'm doing something out of my own means. I want them to realize that I'm just a sinner saved by grace and that without Him I'm nothing. I don't EVER want the focus to be on me but always pointed back to Jesus. These verses also speak to me in the sense of witnessing. Why do we always focus on the people who have good jobs, or can pay the most tithe and blow off the homeless person who is begging for food? It bothers me that we brush over these people and think of them as less than the guy with the eel skin wallet who has 100s in there. The homeless person who stinks, is hungry, and has no teeth is just as loved by God as the other. They are on an equal playing field when it comes to Him, but I seem to treat them differently. Why is that? If God lives in and through me then I'm making Him out to be a liar by saying the homeless person isn't as important and that we should keep our heads down and walk right by them. I need to be ridded of that mindset of somebody being better or more important than someone else. We are all equal in God's eyes and I need to be that equality in the world. Because if I'm not then I'm saying that God isn't either if I'm declaring to be a Christian. I'm tired of being So Righteous I'm Sick! Let me be a "sinner" so You can call me to what You want!

Day 28- The "At Once" Point

I was reading Mark 1:17-18 and it says: “Come, follow me,” Jesus said, “and I will make you fishers of men.” At once they left their nets and followed him." Mark is thought to be a book that is the perspective of Peter, and that possibly Mark was just the scribe. I can see this the more I read it because I think Peter probably had what we like to call ADD. He was always the first one to act and speak. There are so many times in the book of Mark that the words Immediately or At Once are used that Peter was probably writing this to ADD children ha ha ha. But this instance is pretty awesome, Jesus is telling Simon and Andrew to follow Him and they just drop what they were doing and do it. How often do we do that? How often do we "At Once" for Jesus? How often do we question what His logic is behind it all or wonder why in the world He wants us to do something? I know in my own life I question so much it isn't even funny and I need to get to the "At Once" point that I don't think about if God has had His morning cup of coffee yet or if He's had a long night and isn't thinking straight. I just act because He is acting through me and there aren't any questions or even reasons of why I'm doing something, I'm just a man possessed by the Spirit of Christ acting like I can't act. Doing things that don't make sense to me but are in His divine plan!! What would it take for us to reach the "At Once" point where we throw our worries or concerns into the wind and just, well, "At Once". Let that be so in my life, I toss my cares up to You and will let You be the "At Once" point every moment!

Day 27- Faith Like A Child

You know in Mark 10:15 where it says: "I tell you the truth, anyone who will not receive the kingdom of God like a little child will never enter it."? As I began to think on this I was trying to think how a child thinks. This may come easier to some of us considering that we are big kids, however I tried to think of it how Jesus meant. What this truly says to me is that unless we are naive enough to trust God completely we are not able to enter the kingdom of heaven. Have you ever heard that term Naively Trusting? I heard it about 3 years ago and it was almost foreign to me because when somebody says something I'm so quick to analyze it and question the motives of it and why they're saying it. I never want to trust something at face value, even if it is somebody I trust. I mean it takes a lot for somebody to earn my trust. Let's think about it how often would you trust a complete stranger to watch your wallet while you go and get change? Not often, unless we have all our money in the bank and we're insured or we don't have any $ in our wallet. We are not a trusting people by nature, we are a carnal natured people and are in it for ourselves. What if we got out of that mindset with God and moved into the trusting state He wants us to be in? What if we became naively trusting with others around us to show them that God wants us to be that way? We are to reflect Christ, no wait, we are to let Him be Himself to our world through us. So how better to show God's love to somebody than to be naively trusting towards them. Now I'm not saying to let a stranger hold your wallet while you go and get change, however I'm saying what would it take for you to get to that point? At what point can we reach that? The answer is simple and always right...Jesus! Only if He lives inside and shines and trusts through us can that happen. What a Jesus to let me have Faith Like a Child!

Day 26- Til Death Do Us Part And Beyond

I was reading in Mark today and I read how John the Baptist was beheaded. This got me to thinking how much He loved God and was committed to Him. He loved God so much so that death was nothing to him, and getting beheaded wasn't a stumbling block at all. He was going to radiate Jesus to everyone in his world, even if it meant that it would be the end of him. Which it was! I want that passion in my life, so that people can know the love of Jesus so much so by just being next to me or around me or have them speak my name. I don't want the focus to be on me but on Him, so when you think of me I want it to be an immediate equal sign to Him. If somebody mentions my name let them think of a Jesus Freak who won't shut up about Him. Do you ever get to the point where you know somebody who won't shut up about Jesus? Like that's all they talk about and of course they say it when you're mad or in a bad mood, or just don't want to hear it? I want to be that person, I don't want to be a fair weather fan when it comes to Jesus, I want to be an in the rain, snow, and hail kind of fan. Where I just radiate the person of Christ to my world by my very being there because I'm an open vessel. I don't ever want to shut up about Jesus and I want to relate everything back to Him and let Him be the focal point of my relationships, experiences, and attitudes. I want to wrap my life around the Scriptures and let that be the substance that comes out if you squeeze me like a sponge! I want to ooze Jesus when I sweat, speak, drool, whatever happens! I want the people in my life and who I encounter to know beyond a shadow of a doubt that I love Jesus so much I would lay my life down so somebody would know the person of Christ. I don't want that to be a limit on the way He does ministry through me. I want nothing to be a stumbling block to me least of all death. I want to love Him Til Death Do Us Part and Beyond because I will then be in the arms of my Savior! Death where is thy sting? How true that is!

Day 25- Sprinting To Him

I began to think about this song I heard today "Marvelous Light", at least I think that's the name of it. It says "Into Marvelous Light I'm running, out of darkness, out of shame." I really like this song because it defines so much for me. For instance, I am so in love with the person of Jesus that I am sprinting towards Him in so many ways, and the only way to stop me would be to kill me on the spot. However I began to think about that too and that wouldn't do anything but make me closer to Him, so really the only way for me to stop getting closer to Him is for me to stop running towards Him. So either I'm sprinting or stopped, I think that this defines Christianity pretty well, either we're sprinting or we're stopped in our relationship with God. If we're sprinting towards Him then we are putting Him first and almost having a tunnel vision for Him. But if we're stopped then we are completely dead and out of breath, and our tunnel vision for Him becomes this wide view. We begin to think about things other than Him in our life and take a different path or start thinking about ourselves and how much our lungs hurt instead of looking towards the prize at hand. However I don't want this to be like when we die we get to heaven and it's all over I mean that there is a constant prize that we are striving towards always even into eternity. If we view heaven as an end then we are almost viewing it as something that I get out of the deal, when we don't deserve anything at all. I want to have Jesus Tunnel Vision so much so that when people look at me they have to know that I'm focused so much on Him nothing can get in my way except myself. I'm sprinting towards You Lord and I won't stop even if I run the shoes off my feet! May you be the goal I'm running towards and the finish line that I want to achieve. I want to know you more and I'll let my lungs burn to do it!

Day 24- Spiritual Life

I was listening to this Pastor the other day and he was saying that we often refer to our "church life". Meaning anything that is associated with church or church things is our spiritual life. However he pointed out that everything is our spiritual life, LIFE IS SPIRITUAL and we are to live it as such. If we take God out of things that we do then we are limiting Him. I began to think of this as far as my life goes, how many areas of my life do I allow God in? How many I should allow Him in (which of course is all of them)? Why don't I allow Him to have His fingers mixing up all areas of my life? Instead of having a spiritual life that I put limits on God, living a spiritual life. I feel like the word have means to own something, but to live means for something bigger than you to control it. Maybe that's just my weird definition of what those two mean but it feels like that. I no longer want to have any dark corners that God doesn't know about and control, I want Him to be involved in my life and to live His life through me. Then and only then will I LIVE A SPIRITUAL LIFE!! So from now on "How is your spiritual life?", expect me to answer that my life is awesome! I want nothing outside of a Spiritual Life, may God be in the center of my eating, drinking, clothes, marriage, finances, friendships, work, driving, talk and any other areas that are invisible to me but He knows about. Let Him reveal those dark corners I didn't know I had and take them from me. Lord let my life be a Spiritual Life in You!

Day 23- Desire

I have been reading the book by A.W. Tozer The Pursuit of God. Wow what a great book, I'm only part way into the 3rd chapter and it is phenomenal! There seems to be a pattern of a quote at the end of every chapter. They aren't quotes that warm the soul, they are quotes that step on the toes of all who don't abide by them, and to those who do make them uncomfortable enough to stretch to the next level. Here is the one from Chapter 1: "O God, I have tasted Thy goodness, and it has both satisfied me and made me thirsty for more. I am painfully conscious of my need of further grace. I am ashamed of my lack of desire. O god, the Triune God, I want to want Thee; I long to be filled with longing; I thirst to be made thirsty still. Show me Thy glory, I pray Thee, that so I may know Thee indeed. Begin in mercy a new work of love within me. Say to my soul, "Rise up, my love, my fair one, and come away." Then give me grace to rise and follow Thee up from this misty lowland where I have wandered so long. In Jesus' name. Amen. Wow this spoke to me volumes, my only desire needs to be Him so much so that my thirst causes more thirst. It's almost like drinking salt water, it only makes you more thirsty. Let me drink the saltwater of Jesus that is the true Living Water!! I do truly long to long more for Jesus. Let me rest in the person that You are and truly live in Your presence and let me be content in the simplicity that You are! I know that my satisfaction cannot be in anything other than You and if I seek it elsewhere I will not be satisfied until I come back to the resting place that I find in You!

Day 22- Internal vs. External

As I was reading in Mark 1 in verse 8 John The Baptist is saying "I baptize you with water, but he will baptize you with the Holy Spirit.” As we all know the word BUT gives a contrast or a comparison between two things. So here in this statement John is giving this contrast between his baptism and the baptism that Jesus will give. John is saying that his baptism is going to be this external thing where it is going to be more ceremonial thing. I mean we'll get a certificate and frame it and probably put it on our wall. It is this preparatory washing that we get when we are dunked under and then come back up. However Jesus will baptize with the Holy Spirit, which is an internal thing. This is so cool I get really excited about it when I get to explain it. See when Jesus was baptized by John the Baptist He received the Holy Spirit it tells us that later on in the next section. I struggled with this fact that Jesus didn't have the Spirit before this point, however it doesn't mean that He didn't have Divine Nature it just meant He didn't have the Spirit sourcing Him. So when this happens it tells us that At Once, depending on the translation, but immediately The Spirit begins to move in His life and moves Him out into the desert to be tempted. So again we have this external baptism of John the Baptist that gets us ready for the baptism by Jesus that we know is an internal baptism and the Spirit of Christ comes to live inside of us and source us. I don't know about you but when I submitted over to Jesus completely I truly could feel the Spirit moving in my life. In fact that is when I felt the call to ministry, now that's pretty extreme and pretty fast however that is what happens. When the Spirit moves He takes us outside of our comfort zone and stretches us to the point that we have no other option but to trust in Him. When we reach that point we are called Christians. Not before where we hear songs or people say you carry your cross until you can't anymore and then Jesus takes over...NO!! Not true, you never carry your cross, He is the one doing it the entire time and He is stretching you and molding you until you have the actual vision, mindset, and plan of God working and moving in your life. It's a Divine Movement and quite an experience. What would it take for our generation to get a hold of this Divine Movement and take fire and shake our world of religion and the way we always do it mentality? The only answer to that question is of course JESUS! Let it be so in my life!!

Day 21- He Is Risen

Today is Easter and I remember my mother on one Easter coming and and waking me up with "He is Risen!" I was so scared and just woke up and had never heard the other half of that (which is He is Risen Indeed in case you didn't know) and I replied "Hallelujah". I do think about the He is Risen statement, it makes me wonder how important that is. I think sometimes we forget how important it is that He is Risen and that makes Him my savior. Without Him rising then we would just be like every other religion in the world who serves this god that isn't The God. We would fall into the same categories and under the same umbrella and wouldn't have something authentic and different about us. If you look at the other religions in the world (I'm not saying Christianity is a religion either) they all have this guy or thing they worship and they are constantly seeking it. However we have a God who seeks us first and then once we seek Him we become closer and closer and He lives inside of us so much so that we begin to think like He thinks, love like He loves and act like He acts. I doubt that any other religion can say that they think like Buddah or Muhhammed, and why would they want to, all they were was men. However we serve The God who is not limited to an earthly thought and actions, I mean even when Jesus was on earth He wasn't limited to what this earth had to offer. Now He was fully man but the difference was that The Father indwelt Him and He was sourced, even His teachings weren't His own. I want to have the Risen Jesus living inside of me so much so that I'm sourced by Him and am not limited to what this earth has to offer, I want to tap into the Heavenly realms by having the Spirit of Christ living in and through me! Jesus let it be so!

Day 20- Fighting For Me

Well day 20 and it's Easter Eve and I love the thought that Jesus was in Hell at this moment fighting for me. I mean He took my place down there and was my sacrifice once and for all. I will tell people that Jesus will not forgive you today for your sins and He won't forgive you tomorrow either. The reason He won't forgive you is because He already has forgiven you. The deed is done and accomplished. I heard a preacher say once that Christianity isn't a religion of doing, it's a religion of DONE. We don't have to wonder about the blessings that Christ is going to give us, He already has given them to us but we just have to be willing to receive them. It tells us that Jesus went down and preached to lost souls within the three days He was down there. Can you imagine that sermon? I would definitely like a copy of that, I would pay good money for something like that. It is thought to be the souls that went to Hell in between the 400 years that God was silent or the time from the Old Testament to the New Testament. Could you imagine what Jesus said to them "I'm your only and absolutely last chance!" I don't know if that is it exactly but I would assume it went something like that. It must have been quite a sight to behold. I know though that He was down there and I would imagine fighting the damned. What a battle that must have been, I mean I would imagine Satan's army of darkness was ready to receive Him down there and was probably throwing everything they had at Him. However we know that He came forth triumphant! He overcame Hell's best in only 3 days! Wow what a Jesus! I mean everything that the devil had he threw it at Jesus and it might have made it difficult on Jesus it was not enough to keep Him down there forever or even more than 3 days. I am so thankful that He was fighting for me, and that I do not have to endure that fight or go through that pain. That I have a savior who fought for me! Thank you Jesus for taking upon those wounds, not only physical but spiritual, for me. Me who is a sinner that is only saved by your grace and have you living inside of me sourcing and controlling. Take that fighting passion you had and source that through me in every area of my life and let me be the passion people need in an impassioned world!

Day 19- Messenger

I am studying the book of Mark and I'm studying what it means to be a messenger of God. How will people know that I'm a messenger? What traits will I carry, how will I act and what will be my thought patterns? As I began to think on this the word Shalach means an extension of, like a branch. So immediately I began to think of John 15 The Vine and the Branches parable. It tells us that if we don't bear fruit IN HIM that we will be cut off and thrown into the fire. Ok so what are His fruits. So I went to Galatians 5 and found the fruits of the SPIRIT. Ok here we go, others will know that I'm his messenger if I am living in His presence and producing love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, faithfulness goodness, gentleness, and self control. But if I don't have these things it tells me in verse 19 that I will have the fruits of the sinful nature and that it will be OBVIOUS that I have those. I began to think on something we could look at a person and it would be obvious that they had made a choice to do something. So I thought of working out. It's obvious when somebody is working out and when they are not. We can see it in their attitude, energy level, body definition, range of movement, and endurance. So if I have the fruits of the Spirit it will be as obvious as whether or not I work out. How simple it is but such a powerful truth that really hit home. (not only on the fruits, but also the working out).

Day 18- Witness

I'm studying in the book of Mark and finding that in the beginning of the book that Mark tells us that there were three witnesses of the Servant's Identity (Jesus). Mark 1:1-11
The first one is himself, that he witnessed the events that he's writing about. He was there when Jesus was doing the miracles and preaching.
The Second is the prophets. In verse 2 and verse 3 he quotes Old Testament, specifically Malachai 3:1 and Isaiah 40:3. He is giving the validity of what he is saying by quoting Isaiah, it was considered to be a source that was respected. If somebody quoted Isaiah then they obviously knew what they were talking about back then.
Third was John the Baptist. He was the one who actually baptized Jesus. He was an extension of God because he was sent by God himself so the authority he had came from the Father. He was also the forerunner of Christ, going before and preparing those who came to him for Jesus and when His ministry would begin. He also called them to repentance, to give up their former thought and embrace a second thought.
I am so thankful that I too am a witness to the Servant's Identity, and that He went before and was a servant, and is a servant by letting me serve Him. I am so thankful that He not only told us how to live, but showed us as well.

Day 17- John The Responder

After studying the first section of Mark where it talks about John the Baptist I see a reoccurring theme throughout all of the gospels about him. The theme is that he was in a constant attitude of response. No figure in the Bible even Jesus is portrayed the same throughout the whole thing. But in every gospel he is described the same and that he is in a constant state of response. I almost think he should not be called John the Baptist but John the Responder. If you look at his entire life he is living in complete and unquestioning response. Isn't it interesting that John was supposed to be a priest, it was even in his lineage, but chose to do the will of the Father. If he wanted to live a comfortable life where he could do ministry in a city where all the people where there already, and the building had A/C and the best restaurants are there to take people out and witness to them...however he didn't choose that. He chose to respond to God and take a Nazirite vow for life, live in the desert, and preach something radical and new and eat locust and wild honey. Let alone his dress was questionable, and surroundings were not fit for a good ministry. But when we respond to the Holy Spirit we get more than what we can do or expect. We get something more than we planned or prepared for, and we are forced to rely on Him. We can think of it as a scary thing or we can think of it as living outside our means. We are able to think like we can't think, love like we can't love, see things like we can't see them. We take on the very characteristics of God because His Spirit is living inside of us! I want that so bad that I'm willing to give up that fear of the unknown and let Him take over the situation so I can live like I am unable to live and break out of my limited box that I seem to stay in. I want Him to shake up my everyday living and rock my traditions and patterns that I have slipped into. Let me become known as The Responder also!

Day 16- Personal Preference

Well as I have studied Mark 1:7 more and more I find out that since Jesus was responding to the Father's will and when He did that Jesus personal preference changed from His own to the Father's. I presented on a conference call today and as we were talking about changing our personal preference even when it comes to the matter of food. What would happen if I get so wrapped up in the Father that if He wants to take me to a restaurant that I don't like to go to I am still willing to go because He sends me there. I have to get to the point that I trust Him and His plans and that there is a purpose for me going there. Isn't it something when we begin to think like that, where something like where we eat could become a witnessing opportunity. Generally we think of witnessing as I have to get in the mindset of it and get ready with all the answers that people might ask, and probably have a scripture ready for them. Why can't I live in this all of the time, not in a attitude of defense, but in an attitude of response. Where I'm going where He's leading me and I'm not worried about it because He will give me the correct thing to say or scripture to present. When I take myself out of the equation and let Him take the reigns then it seems to work out perfect. But if I'm in the driver seat then I am bound for an accident! I want to get so wrapped up in Him that my personal preference changes to His. I want to have the mind of God, and to have my heart beat with His heart, to see and have the vision of Christ. That is my desire more than anything to respond to Him!

Day 15- The Spill You Won't Clean Up

As I begun to read on in Mark (I couldn't wait to keep reading) I was reading how Jesus cast out a demon. I found that very interesting because the demon realized that Jesus was the Son of God before the disciples did! But the fact that Jesus had this indisputable power over this demon gives me a sense of comfort. See I worship the God who has power over everything including any person, situation, demon, or Satan himself! We always have this idea of Satan being this red guy who has horns and a pitch fork with a tail. However I personally think that he is a very beautiful thing, and that we are often deceived because we are expecting the first image. When Jesus cast this demon out the demon knew from the beginning that there was no point in putting up a fight because it knew it would lose. I want that Jesus who is all powerful and everything living thing fears Him, to live inside of me. See when I do that I take upon that power, not by myself but the power He posses I now have because He is my source. Now when I say He's my source I don't mean source like I eat a hamburger and that gives me energy to do things, I mean that everything that I do, all the talents I posses, my drives, my emotions, EVERYTHING comes from Him. When that takes place that I am taking upon His motives, His passions, His desires, I begin to see His vision and see people like He sees them. I don't know if you have ever experienced that, but when the person of Christ comes upon you it is like no other! You will know without a doubt that He is a living source inside of you and you start to act outside of your normal conditions. See when He lives inside of you it is this filling and the more and more that you get into Him the more He fills you and it begins to out pour out of you that people can see a difference and it will be obvious. What a concept that we can get so filled with Jesus that every where we go we just spill Him on everyone and everybody we come in contact with. I mean wouldn't it be something to be so filled with Jesus that people have to wade through Jesus just to get to you! I want that to happen in my life, I have to have Jesus so fill me that the out pour of His Spirit is a natural and moment by moment thing. That it's not something I turn off when I go to bed, but I go to sleep and He's spilling out of me onto my wife. I wake up and He's spilling out of me onto my co-workers. I want Him so dominate in my life that other people begin to question my joy and want to have it themselves. Let it be so in my life, Spill Out Of Me JESUS!!

Day 14- Straight

As I study in Mark I found some pretty awesome stuff on preparing and making straight the way. The Greek word for prepare is to make ready, or to have things in order. So if there was a messenger then they would ride ahead make sure all the bridges are down, the land was flat, the gates were open before the king even arrived. He was sent to Prepare and make things as they should be for the king. I also got into the word Straight, it means to level something, or to make it not curvy. But the thing I really liked in that word is this: it has a sense of urgency. So when John the Baptist is out in the desert crying out for the people to come and repent it is not a thing where they can tomorrow if they want but whenever is fine kind of thing. NO, it's a you have to right now kind of thing, it's so urgent because we don't know when he'll be here. He didn't know when the king was coming but he knew that when He did it was going to be the greatest thing ever. He knew that when Jesus arrived on the spot that He not only wanted himself to be ready, but was so selfless that he wanted others to be ready as well. Since he was this way He didn't care about anything else so much so it transferred into his dining, and clothing. He was so focused on God and the preparation that needed to take place that nothing else mattered to him except that. He didn't care about what others thought of himself, but what they thought of Christ. I want that today so badly, that I lose sight of what others think of me and get lost in Him. I don't want to let little things like appearance and food get in my way of getting closer to Him, or leading others to Him. I want nothing more than the embrace of the Father and the calmness and peace that happens when the King arrives!

Day 13- Personal Preference

I have been in Mark for a little while now and I love how it can give me new truth even though I think it’s tapped out for one section. As I was studying Mark 1:7 I got stuck on the word “come”. It is a common word but in this verse has a lot of meaning! The verse is: And this was his message: “After me will come one more powerful than I, the thongs of whose sandals I am not worthy to stoop down and untie. I struggled with this word because in the Greek it is in the middle voice or the passive deponent. You generally have the active voice (the boy hit the ball) or the passive voice (the ball hit the boy), however this one is different. I had to call John, Jeremiah, and Stephen to help with this but it was good stuff. The middle voice is the noun of the sentence doing something to itself. For instance, I wash myself or I feed myself. So it is a special interest that it taking place. So I began to try and put that into this context and figure out what John the Baptist was talking about, since this was Mark quoting him. I began to think of the knowledge that John the Baptist had of Jesus and the only thing I could think of was when he was in the womb and Elizabeth and Mary were hanging out and John sensed Jesus’ presence and leapt in his mother’s womb. So he had a general sense of Jesus even before birth, but how did he have that kind of knowledge of Jesus. Then it hit me, since John the Baptist was a messenger of, or and extension of, God then he had this knowledge of Jesus from the Father. So when I was thinking of the word come I was thinking that this would tell me the reason that Jesus would come, verse eight tells us some of it, but there was more. It was Jesus submitting to the Father’s will so God the Father led Jesus out to John. But just to be clear on this, it wasn’t a kicking and screaming thing like I used to do when I had to go and do homework. It wasn’t a huge sigh and head tilted back thing where Jesus said “What does he want now?” kind of thing. No this was a total willing thing that Jesus was responding to the Father and His will, not Jesus will. But this also gives the idea of personal preference so Jesus was led by the Father out there, but He also went out there on His own accord. He wanted to do this and chose to do this and by doing so had the Father’s vision because He was responding from before. Then the final part of why Jesus came out there is verse 8 that He will baptize with the Holy Spirit. So it’s almost an order that you can see here, response to the Father will cause you to see the same vision that He has to the point you have a personal preference to what He’s doing. Then once you do respond and have His vision to see what He sees you experience the baptism of the Holy Spirit. Wow, I want that so badly in my life. I want Him to lead me without me asking stupid questions of how or when or where. I want to follow blindly and completely trust in Him that He will not lead me into anything that will lead to death and destruction. Then after that I want to have the Vision of God to see the potential, the person, the image that He sees in a situation. Then finally I want to be so baptized in the Holy Spirit that it spills out of me to the point I become possessed and obviously His. Father make it so in my life today. I want to have your vision and personal preference and your Spirit so badly I leave my choice behind no matter what that may be.

Day 12- How Far We Fall

Have you known somebody that you knew as friend when you were kids, teens, or college age and was just an on fire Christian and now they are not? I know that when I was a teenager I went nuts when I was in college. I got caught up in drinking and drugs, and I look back and realize that I wanted this freedom and all of a sudden had total freedom. It was like I was trying to make up for lost time or something, I don't know. However I know that looking back on my life I was addicted to something other than Jesus. In high school it was sports and "going to church". I played sports so much it was insane! I wrapped my life around that and when I got to college I didn't play anything for the first two years or so and that addiction that I had before needed something else to fill the spot and drugs and alcohol were readily available. We seem sometimes to be so high up and then to fall so low, but are we ever really up that high in the first place or are we just "going to church"? Unless we are an "On Fire Christian" then we are not a Christian at all. I feel like I cannot say this enough and I get criticized for it but unless you're an Amen Amen, front row hand raiser, gotta have more of Jesus type then are you really saved or have you fallen from where you were? We don't like to question this in our life but unless you act like an addict (yes like a drug addict) for Jesus then you're missing it. He has to be our everything, our source, our answer, our salvation, HE JUST HAS TO! So if you know that friend or maybe you are that friend pray for a renewal in their life or in your own! Get that fire back, Jesus is always waiting to take you back and start raising that hand in the front row, being the Amen Amen Christian, that's exactly what He wants! Don't do it because you are putting on a show or trying to impress somebody, but do it rather because you're so in love with Jesus and you have no other choice but to do it! I want that today Jesus, I am addicted to you and I don't want anything else to come in the way of that. It is so important in my life that I'm addicted to you because if I'm not then I'm addicted to something else and not living my life for You! Mold me more and more, never let my cup run empty, always fill me, and feed me! I love you Jesus and I know you love us no matter How Far We Fall!

Day 11- Unworthy Servant

Well I'm in Mark 1:7 and the verse reads "And this was his message: "After me will come one more powerful than I, the thongs of whose sandals I am not worthy to stoop down and untie..." I began to think about how I am such an unworthy servant of Jesus. I don't even deserve to stoop down and untie His Nike's. Back in those days a servant that was the lowest of the low would always seem to have the feet job. Jesus when He washed the disciples feet, or John saying he's not worthy to even untie His sandals. They were always associated with the feet. I found that interesting and began to think about it and why the feet were the lowest part. But if you think about it the feet are pretty nasty, and back then well Ew. They walked everywhere, and can you imagine how nasty those toes got? I mean that must have been so nasty with the dirt and grime all ground into their toes. And then Jesus willing to stoop down and untie the disciples sandals and wash those dirty nasty feet, WOW not that's a servant. I wonder how I'm a servant in my own life? What areas are lacking because I'm not a servant? How can I be a servant in my own marriage, work, or friendships? The only way that can change is to have Him do the serving through me. It is the waiter at the table concept, of I'm just serving whatever He does through me and I don't know what's on the platter but I'm going to give it to you. And of course the dish is always served the perfect temperature, and texture, and the dish is always Jesus! I need to submit my area of servant hood over to Him because I am just unable to do it without Him. I have so many areas of my life that need servants in them and time after time I'm not willing to let Him be that through me. Lord be a servant through me to my world. Let them know that You live inside of me just by my actions alone, and not even needing to say anything. I live in a world that NEEDS You Jesus and I'm longing for You to move in a way of such that is a radical change (unfortunately). Be the change that my world and I need, shake my thinking and actions by taking away my carnality and living through me a life of servant hood.

Day 11- Abraham and Issac

So I was talking with some friends who were missionaries to Poland, and were planning on being there for 1 year. They ended up selling a lot of their stuff, their car, furniture, pretty much everything except clothes, their bed and a dresser or two. Well they get over there and things don't quite work out and the end up coming back to the states. They were there about 2 months and felt defeated and kind of like "Why did you make me do all this so that we would come back in 2 months?" Well as I was talking to them last night they feel as though God needed to show them something and the only way to do it was to strip them of all of their comforts, possessions, and talents and send them over to Poland. Now they have come back with a passion and desire to have a ministry over here that is what they wanted to do over there. But how much easier it is because they speak the language, know the city, and are in a general sense familiar with the surroundings and culture. It made me think of the story of Abraham and Isaac. See Abraham was being spoke to by God and God told him that he needed to sacrifice his first born son. Abraham was kind of weirded out by this whole thing and wanted to know why. But God told Him to trust Him and so as Abraham had Isaac down to sacrifice him, about ready to cut his neck, God spoke up and said that He wanted to test Abraham. That he didn't really have to sacrifice his own son, and there was a goat in a bush nearby. Sometimes God wants to see if we are willing to "sacrifice our own son", or completely trust Him when we know it sounds off the wall. I think of Mark 1:1-4 it talks about John the Baptist and how he is out in the wilderness. Well the Greek word translated there means solitude, or gives the concept of being stripped down of everything. If you think about it, John the Baptist was stripped down of everything even to his clothes and all he had to rely upon was God. I want that in my life today, I don't want to rely on my talents, possessions, or situations, I want to rely fully on God. The second I stop relying on Him I'm sinning and need to repent because I cannot do anything myself to please Him, He must do it through me. Jesus make it so, I want to be stripped down of everything so I can gain You! I know once I gain You that I have the whole deal, the entire thing, the whole purpose for living. I want so badly to be dominated by You, I lay myself down as a sacrifice for You!

Day 10- Magic 8 Ball Jesus

I know from the title you're going, well the man obviously hasn't had food so he's delirious and needs to eat. However I'm not delirious, although some say crazy, but today at work it made me think of this. We have this new system we're going to be using at work where all of the separate systems will be narrowed down to one system so everybody is using the same thing. Great concept, so we went down to this kick off meeting to learn about it and they had bags down there filled with goodies like a pen, a note pad, and this little magic 8 ball thing. You know the one where it would give you the answer to any question you would ask it. Now the answer might not always fit the question and usually the question would have to be a yes or no question but it would give you the answer after shaking it up a few times. Well I began to think on this and what would happen if there was this "Magic 8 Ball" that you could ask any question to (not just yes or no) and it always gave you the right answer? That thing would be so hot the stores wouldn't be able to keep them on the shelves. Everybody would own one and would go to that thing every time they had a question about anything. Ok now what if the answer that always popped up was JESUS? No matter what the question, no matter what the situation the answer was always JESUS. Doesn't it seem to easy to have that, I mean can He really be the answer to anything we ask? YES!!! That is so exciting to know that no matter what the question is the answer is always JESUS! I was reading my good friend's book today and I love the comments in there they have a feel of this, Jesus doesn't provide us our salvation...HE is our salvation. Jesus doesn't give us peace, HE is our peace. Jesus doesn't give us answers, HE is our answers. So instead of going to a magic 8 ball to get answers I would highly recommend Jesus for any and every answer you're ever seeking about anything. He is the perfect fit and size, and length and just perfect for anything! What a Jesus!! He is so good to me to always be my answer!

Day 9- Rest

I was on this weekly conference call that me and some other guys do, and one of the main topics was this rest concept. I really liked it because it gives the idea that I can get so wrapped up in the doing aspect of ministry and lose focus on the being aspect of it. See I can do a lot of things, but that doesn't mean anything unless He is doing them through me. When we get wrapped up in the doing aspect we often times feel overwhelmed, and can feel overtaken. But this concept suggests that I rest in Jesus and let Him dominate my situation and the overwhelming feeling that I have is no more. The bodies we have are Christian bodies and not built to handle worry, or stress. Look at how our bodies react to stress and worry, you get sick or shut down. So whenever I'm worrying, or I'm stressed out about something, if I look to Him for rest or as the calm amidst the storm, He is always there. He is my constant in an inconstant world. I know that if I rest in Him that His will can be done, but only if I rest in Him. If I try to rest in myself then that is not rest at all and things fall apart. I find myself discussing issues with people and we are always looking for a third road, or a fence to sit on, like if I rest in Him only when I need to. Duh, I always need to!! I am so insufficient even in my own life. I tried to take control of my life and it lead to drugs, alcohol, and obesity. I obviously needed to have Him dominate me and take the stressful and worry upon Himself. He commands us to give it to Him because He is capable to handle such things and I am not. I want to rest in Him today, and let my head fall on His chest as a comfort. I want to know that there are two persons living inside of me and the other person is taking care of the things that I can't do (which is everything). I want to live outside my means and do things I can't do and love like I can't love because He is doing it through me and I just rest in Him. Lord let it be so today and I will seek you and get so wrapped up in you that stress and worry fade away and all I'm left to do is REST!

Day 8- Rooted

I have found as I go along in life and through the scripture that one of the key elements is to always stay rooted. You must believe firmly in what you believe because if you do not stand firm then you do not stand at all. I have found recently that I am challenged by others who do not believe as I do. Some of this came as a shock because I guess you just believe everybody believes the same way you do. However I have found this is not the case. As I was reading in Mark it tells us how Jesus was lead out to the desert to be tempted by the devil himself. How hard I thought that must have been, to overcome that temptation. But then I began to think about it, Jesus just had the very Spirit of God descend on Him and fill Him and take over control. Was it really that difficult to overcome temptation? I've heard it said that "I've never overcome a problem by focusing on not giving into that problem." If I'm focused on the problem itself and overcoming it, it gets bigger and bigger in my life until it's unbearable. Then I have the same problem but in a bigger size. The only way I have overcome a temptation or problem is to focus on Him. If I'm focused on Him then that problem might still be there but I don't even notice it. I'm just so wrapped up in Him. At the same time when I stand firm on what I believe, I can say my peace but at the end of the day it is not my words that are going to win some kind of argument. No it's the person of Christ that will do the talking for me because I'm so wrapped up in Him. That way it leaves me out of the equation, which is a great thing because I always mess stuff up, and let's Him take control of whatever is going on. When we are rooted in Him, it makes me think of the vine and the branches, we are mistaken for Him. If we're secure and resting in Jesus, He's so solid that I don't have to worry about hanging out there alone, or what to say, or how to handle the situation. He already knows what needs to be said, He already knows the right thing to say at the right time. When we rest in the person of Jesus we are rooted in Him. I have found one of the best ways to be rooted is to study the scripture and to be solid in what it says. Not what we think it says but actually what the original language is saying to us. Find out the Greek or Hebrew of the text and watch it become more alive then it was before. When we are rooted in The Word, we are rooted in Him, and if we are rooted in Him, we cannot be moved or swayed. Let my root go deep into your person Jesus and may I just be the branch that is mistaken for the vine you are!

Day 7- From Worst To Best

Mark 1:9 says: "At that time Jesus came from Nazareth in Galilee and was baptized by John in the Jordan." I looked into the town of Nazareth and it was a trader town and not thought of well. When you thought of Nazareth you thought of a town where there was a lot of people passing through and it was kind of a slum kind of town. I found it interesting that Jesus was born here and that God's son was from Nazareth. Who would have thought that somebody like the person of Christ could ever come out of a town like Nazareth? I wonder how many times in our life that we look at our current situation and wonder how God will ever be able to work in the midst of it? I look at my life and wonder how in the world is God going to use me? I mean I didn't graduate college, I lived a hard life, I have a past and am over weight(there are may more negatives, but I don't have time to write them all). I mean how in the world is God going to use something like that? The fact of the matter is that no matter how bad we are, how bad the situation is, how bad of a life we have lived or how dirty our past may be He will use it. I know this first hand, I have gone from being drunk and high to preaching His word. I have left the past that used to haunt me behind and got so focused on Him that nothing else matters anymore. The key element that we must remember is that we are "New Creations" in Christ!! When we accept Him and have Him living inside of us so that we literally have two people in one body then and only then does He wash away all that filth that we have accumulated. We have to take the excuses that we have "I have a past, I had a hard childhood, I didn't have a father/mother, I'm not smart." or anything else that we can come up with, and quit using them to keep us away from Him. He doesn't care what we have been through, or what we have done, how we grew up or who are parents are He just wants us to be in a deep relationship with Him. That is the key to Christianity!! Not what we're doing, or how we're doing it, but a deep, intimate relationship with Jesus Christ, so that He knows every thought we have, every moment we experience, every step we take He wants to be a part of it. I want that in my life, I want to grow deeper and deeper in love with Jesus. I don't want to use the excuses of my Worst, but I want to live in the promise of His Best. I know that this earthly life doesn't always promise to be easy or easier when we become a Christian, in all actuality it will become harder, but I do know that He loves me and that I don't have to worry about doing the right thing all the time. I just sit back and let Him take over control of my life. Now please understand that it's not a situation of where I sit on my butt and expect Him to do my homework, or cook dinner or do things that I hate doing. But my motivation for doing the things I do will change so that I no longer have a selfish attitude towards doing them but a selfless attitude. I want that more and more in my life so I become less and He becomes more. I'm leaving behind my Worst and embracing His Best!

Day 6- Serving

Well with Day six over already and me not writing this until after 12 (plus daylight savings time) I feel bad. However I'm going to write a post anyway. Today we were blasted with snow in Columbus and our apartment complex was absolutely crazy. It was so bad that we had to dig our cars out and clean them off. It was just nuts and we estimated that we got around 14 inches or so and it was coming down pretty hard today. Well Mindy and I decided that we are going to dig our cars out tonight and when we went down there the walk down to the street was absolutely covered with snow and it was packed down because people had just been walking on it and nobody had taken the time to shovel it. Well I decided that we needed to shovel it although having the strength posed an issue. We had to dig our cars out, which was a fun little task, then decided we would do the walk way as well. As we were doing that I found myself wanting to do every body's cars, but knew that I would not have the energy to do so. However I am noticing a change in my life, that I have been praying for, to be more of a servant. I am called to be so in being a husband, but I want it to transfer over to my everyday life. Jesus spent His entire time here on earth as a servant. He washed His disciples feet, left His omni powers, and obviously took all of our sins away (that little thing ha ha ha). I want so badly to be a servant to those around me and to be able to have a heart that wants that as well. I don't want to be someone who just says it, but lives it. The only way I can have that heart is getting into the person of Jesus and letting His heart become my heart. A total transformation must take place and I no longer can have the selfish desires of my heart that would have said don't clean the walk way, or even look for a cleaned off spot so I can take advantage of it. I don't want that any more I want to be the servant that I'm called to be. Let me get so wrapped up into the heart of Jesus I take that heart and burdens that it entails. I know that God will not put more on me that He can handle. How often do we often say that He won't put more upon us that we can handle? I hate that saying because if I can always handle it then why do I need Him? A dependence must take place for Him to take over. Jesus I'm desperate today for you to take over in my thinking and my wants. I love you so much and am excited for your prevenient grace to show me your love!!

Day 5- Change

Well it's Day 5 and as I think of the things in my life, I think that there are so many areas that need change. Well I'm studying the book of Mark and it says in verse 4 "And so John came, baptizing in the desert region and preaching a baptism of repentance for the forgiveness of sins." The whole concept of repentance is that of change. It is having this former thought and way you do things. It's the idea of when you bump me this is how I will react. That can be taken physically or spiritually. If someone tests me, or I'm tried how will I handle it. So repentance is this leaving behind the former thought to embrace the second thought which is Jesus!! So as I have this "change" happening in my life I must always leave behind the first thought or way of doing things, and embracing the second thought which is always Jesus. This is not a one time thing, but a constant thing, which is what Holiness really is! If we ever rest in what we are or where we are or are comfortable in what we're doing or where we're at with Jesus then we're dead and living in sin. We must always grow, always get deeper in a relationship with the person of Christ. I have seen the bumper sticker "Heaven- Christian Retirement", that makes me sick. If heaven is Christian Retirement then I don't want it. I don't want play eternal bingo and sing hymns around the crystal sea. I want to get closer and closer to my Lord. The only difference will be that I don't have this body cursed with sin, but I will continue to know Him more and more. I want to be so changed that it is radical, I want to be so changed that it is something that makes me stick out and people have no other option but to realize that I am a Christian. I want to be Jesus to my world and the only way to do that is to submit my will up to Him and let Him take over. So I repent of me and my ways from before, and my desires and I give up the first thought. I embrace the second thought which obviously is always Jesus. One area especially is the way I eat and what I eat. I no longer will eat what I want to eat (not at all for 35 more days), but I will eat what I think will bring me closer to Him. I must change the way that I live in order to get closer to Him in ever aspect possible. I never knew how many areas of my life I don't honor Him. I am finding that I have more than should be and those must be CHANGED!! I love you Jesus and want YOUR WILL acted out in my life so YOU have to come and do it for me. Make me how YOU want and MOLD my traditions, every day habits, my eating, my relationships, and everything I do to how YOU want. CHANGE ME I PRAY!!!