Day 6- Serving

Well with Day six over already and me not writing this until after 12 (plus daylight savings time) I feel bad. However I'm going to write a post anyway. Today we were blasted with snow in Columbus and our apartment complex was absolutely crazy. It was so bad that we had to dig our cars out and clean them off. It was just nuts and we estimated that we got around 14 inches or so and it was coming down pretty hard today. Well Mindy and I decided that we are going to dig our cars out tonight and when we went down there the walk down to the street was absolutely covered with snow and it was packed down because people had just been walking on it and nobody had taken the time to shovel it. Well I decided that we needed to shovel it although having the strength posed an issue. We had to dig our cars out, which was a fun little task, then decided we would do the walk way as well. As we were doing that I found myself wanting to do every body's cars, but knew that I would not have the energy to do so. However I am noticing a change in my life, that I have been praying for, to be more of a servant. I am called to be so in being a husband, but I want it to transfer over to my everyday life. Jesus spent His entire time here on earth as a servant. He washed His disciples feet, left His omni powers, and obviously took all of our sins away (that little thing ha ha ha). I want so badly to be a servant to those around me and to be able to have a heart that wants that as well. I don't want to be someone who just says it, but lives it. The only way I can have that heart is getting into the person of Jesus and letting His heart become my heart. A total transformation must take place and I no longer can have the selfish desires of my heart that would have said don't clean the walk way, or even look for a cleaned off spot so I can take advantage of it. I don't want that any more I want to be the servant that I'm called to be. Let me get so wrapped up into the heart of Jesus I take that heart and burdens that it entails. I know that God will not put more on me that He can handle. How often do we often say that He won't put more upon us that we can handle? I hate that saying because if I can always handle it then why do I need Him? A dependence must take place for Him to take over. Jesus I'm desperate today for you to take over in my thinking and my wants. I love you so much and am excited for your prevenient grace to show me your love!!

Day 5- Change

Well it's Day 5 and as I think of the things in my life, I think that there are so many areas that need change. Well I'm studying the book of Mark and it says in verse 4 "And so John came, baptizing in the desert region and preaching a baptism of repentance for the forgiveness of sins." The whole concept of repentance is that of change. It is having this former thought and way you do things. It's the idea of when you bump me this is how I will react. That can be taken physically or spiritually. If someone tests me, or I'm tried how will I handle it. So repentance is this leaving behind the former thought to embrace the second thought which is Jesus!! So as I have this "change" happening in my life I must always leave behind the first thought or way of doing things, and embracing the second thought which is always Jesus. This is not a one time thing, but a constant thing, which is what Holiness really is! If we ever rest in what we are or where we are or are comfortable in what we're doing or where we're at with Jesus then we're dead and living in sin. We must always grow, always get deeper in a relationship with the person of Christ. I have seen the bumper sticker "Heaven- Christian Retirement", that makes me sick. If heaven is Christian Retirement then I don't want it. I don't want play eternal bingo and sing hymns around the crystal sea. I want to get closer and closer to my Lord. The only difference will be that I don't have this body cursed with sin, but I will continue to know Him more and more. I want to be so changed that it is radical, I want to be so changed that it is something that makes me stick out and people have no other option but to realize that I am a Christian. I want to be Jesus to my world and the only way to do that is to submit my will up to Him and let Him take over. So I repent of me and my ways from before, and my desires and I give up the first thought. I embrace the second thought which obviously is always Jesus. One area especially is the way I eat and what I eat. I no longer will eat what I want to eat (not at all for 35 more days), but I will eat what I think will bring me closer to Him. I must change the way that I live in order to get closer to Him in ever aspect possible. I never knew how many areas of my life I don't honor Him. I am finding that I have more than should be and those must be CHANGED!! I love you Jesus and want YOUR WILL acted out in my life so YOU have to come and do it for me. Make me how YOU want and MOLD my traditions, every day habits, my eating, my relationships, and everything I do to how YOU want. CHANGE ME I PRAY!!!

Day 4- Cleansing

So I was at work today and as I was drinking my meal and I got to thinking about Jesus and when He was baptized. Again John the Baptist baptized Jesus and John was an extension of God so God actually baptized His son. The whole reason that Jesus was baptized was not because He was setting an example, although He was setting an example, but the reason that Jesus was baptized was because He was being cleansed. John the Baptist was cleaning Jesus so that when the Holy Spirit came down upon Jesus, Jesus was ready to receive Him. Then once Jesus received the Holy Spirit it tells us that At Once He was lead out into the wilderness. Then for 40 days and 40 nights Jesus fasted, and was cleansed of the only thing that He needed to be cleansed of which was the food that was inside of Him. And it's not that the food that was inside of Him was bad, but He was starting over. When we get cleansed with the Holy Spirit we start fresh, are a new creation in Christ. So what we were before is wiped clean and we start a new. Well since Jesus had no sin to be cleansed of the only way He could be cleansed was by fasting and getting that out of Him. In the same way I want to be cleansed of everything that is not of Him. I want Him to get so big in my life that all the sin nature, and thought of sin and desires I had before are gone and no longer have a place in my life. I am so filled with Him that the wants of the carnal nature are gone, and the desires of my own heart are no more. I speak with Paul when I say "I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life I live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me." Let it be so in my life!!

Day 3- Indwelt

Well Day 3 is here and I'm hungry, there is no getting around that. However I find in my hunger that it is a reminder (and a very strong one) that I need to have the presence of Jesus every second of every day. If I go a moment without Him then I don't want to live. People often ask the purpose of life, well I have an answer...Jesus!! Duh, the entire reason I get up in the morning is Jesus, the reason I hold a job, or the reason I do anything is because of Jesus. The moment I start living for myself is the moment that I become self centered and carnal. When that happens I no longer have the person of Jesus living inside of me and I'm blackened with sin. I hate the thought of being away from my Savior. Well I was reading in Mark today and in Mark 1:9-12 (the baptism of Jesus by John the Baptist) was very interesting. As I began to question it further I wondered whether or not Jesus was filled with the Holy Spirit before that time or not. My first thought was of course He was, I mean He's Jesus. However as I began to dig deeper and think on this more it dawned on me that He did not have the Holy Spirit indwelling (living inside) of Him yet. Well when He was born He did not come into this world with His "Omnis" or the power to be all knowing, all present, and all powerful. He left those behind and jumped off His throne and came to earth and was fully man and lived as a man. However you can't be anything other than yourself and neither can God. So when Jesus came down to earth He was born with divine nature and not carnal nature. This is the reason that when he was 12 He was able to be in the temple asking questions and wanting to know more about His Father. It tells us that as soon as He was baptized by John the Baptist that He came up out of the water and something LIKE a dove descended on Him. I always like that because it says LIKE not that an actual dove descended on Him but something LIKE a dove. Which in my mind means peaceful and gracious. But the spirit descended on Him and He was filled with the Holy Spirit. The beauty of this whole scene is that John the Baptist was a messenger of God (which translated means an extension of) and by being that God actually baptized His own Son. Then the sky opened up and we hear an audible voice after 400 years of silence. So Jesus went through all we went through because He was fully man. But He was also fully God in that He had a divine nature and was able to receive the Father's wisdom and power. I love it because Jesus was the prototype for how we should live. He is called the second Adam because the first one chose himself over God. However Christ came so that we may have this indweltness of the Holy Spirit. It went from an external God like in the Old Testament to an internal God who lives insides and is in control. I want so much for the Holy Spirit to indwell me. I have to have Him come inside and radically change the areas of my life that aren't focused on Him. We have heard the expression of garbage in, garbage out. Well let's flip that to Jesus in, Jesus out. Let the words of my mouth and my desire, and my passions and desires be all for the glory of Jesus. If I am living any other way I'm not letting the very person of Christ indwell me! Let me be A Man Indwelt with Jesus and make it obvious to those around me!

Day 2- The Devil Fights Dirty

Well Day 2 has not been easier, however I have noticed that with constant prayer and seeking Him that our attitudes have been surprisingly good. God is good, He is constantly watching out for us and keeping us, and indwelling us and dominating us so that He's living my life because I submit my will up to Him. I checked a comment on Myspace today and it was encouragement and these verses: 2 Corinthians 4:8-12 "We are hard pressed on every side, yet not crushed; we are perplexed yet not in despair; persecuted, but not forsaken; struck down, but not destroyed - always carrying about in the body the dying of the Lord Jesus, that the life of Jesus also may be manifested in our body. For we who live are always delivered to death for Jesus' sake, that the life of Jesus also may be manifested in our mortal flesh. So then death is working in us, but life in you." I love it because it says that there will be this squeezing and although there will be that, Jesus is inside of me and when I'm squeezed He comes out. I'm like a sponge and I'm saturating in Him and His Word, then what happens when you squeeze a sponge? Whatever it has been soaking in will come out of it! I want so much for my sponge of a life to be soaked in Jesus so when this persecution, hard pressing, striking down happens that I can't do anything but have Jesus come out of me. That was so uplifting today because the devil was fighting dirty today as work got more stressful, and there were complications on getting my tags. I must get past the devil having any kind of control of my life either through circumstances or my attitude. I want to have the desires of Jesus so much so that He controls my life in every way, shape and form. I want Him to get so big in my life that there is no room for satan to live in there (which impossible for both to live in there anyway, I must have one or the other). So I look at my life and the times where I have not lived with the indweltness of the Spirit and the times that I have and I have found that I am squeezed more as a Christian than not. The reason for this can be explained by this: If you are in a battle and you had the option to take out 1 solider or 1 tank. Well the obvious answer would be the tank and then the question would be why? Well the answer to that would be that the tank could do more damage to you right? Well if I'm squeezed and challenged and I have these things that try and control my relationship with Him that the devil feels that I am a spiritual tank. He knows that I'm going to do damage because Christ lives inside of me and has total control over me. I also received a text from a friend of mine today that said "God has already won the war." How true that is, as tough as life may seem God has already won for us. All we have to do is become totally dependant on Him because He has already gone before. His prevenient grace or preventing love has gone before me and the day or week or month that lies ahead of me. God is in total control of me although satan can throw circumstances and squeezing at me I will praise Jesus. Nothing can keep me from Christ but myself and I refuse to do so! Lord let your presence be so prominent in my life it is absolutely obvious to others. I love you with all I am and I commit myself to you!

Day 1- The Goat

So I was reading in Mark 1 today and I saw that Jesus was lead out into the wilderness by the Spirit. Then I read my commentary and it said that it was a tradition that was performed in Leviticus where the priest would pray over the goat that all the people's sins were put into that goat and it was then lead out into the wilderness where there was a person who knew how to take care of it was waiting. Then the goat would release all of the sins into the wilderness. Well after Jesus' baptism it says that the Spirit lead Him out into the wilderness and it was saying that Jesus was in a sense the goat that the priest had prayed over. I have heard Jesus called many things but goat was never one of them. Well as we were heading home from Sam's Club and almost to my buddy Trevor's house, I got pulled over because my tags were expired. This is very frustrating because now I'm going to (because of my wife) contest the tags and have to drive all the way downtown and talk to a judge. This is not my idea of a good time. But at the same time I am happy, in a weird way, because it is like the devil is trying his best to get me down. Although the tags are my fault he is picking now to spring this on me. I just did a road trip yesterday that lasted over 4 hours and was totally fine. Well I am excited in all of this because as my good friend Quincy preached about one time in James 1:2 "Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything." So I must persevere through this trial (literally) that I must go through. I thank God for giving me another day to experience His presence and get wrapped up in Him. Although I'm ready to gnaw off my arm and eat it, so tired and weak because I usually consume 5 times the amount of calories that I am today, I will give Him praise. Why will I do that? Because He is worthy, and I am unable to even experience these things without Him. Without Him my life is totally meaningless, so I strive towards Him, blindly trusting, and wanting Him with an addiction that can only be filled and satisfied with Him, I press on!

Eve of the Fast.

Well we came home today after going up to Pioneer, OH and planning a future event that will take place in August. We ate quite well today seeing as it was our last day of food for 40 days. It is the eve of the fast and I find myself wanting to be in a better state than I am in. Which I guess is the point of the fast all together, however I wish I were starting the fast in a better mind set, and that I wouldn't have splurged today on eating like I did. Obviously it's too late now however this is one more thing that I must strive towards Him more so that those impulse splurges on things like eating enough for two people don't happen. As I preached today I know I was preaching to myself when I said that I want Jesus to search me for those dark areas of my life and fill them with His presence. I want Him to become so big in my life that it doesn't leave room for anything else. I am anxious for Him to become that big and not to get so big that there is a point He stops, but more so that He becomes so big in my life I'm exploding with Jesus on everybody!! Wouldn't that be something? To explode with Jesus inside so much so that it lands on everybody in a radius you come in contact with. I want it to be so obvious that people look at me and see the love of Jesus. That would be totally awesome, because He's a transparent God, He hasn't changed, nor will He change. He's the consistent in an inconsistent world, so if I'm transparent and He lives inside of me then people will have no choice but to see Him. Jesus let it be so, be so clear in my life that I am just a vessel!