Day 34- I am...

I recently started my class on Spiritual Formation and the questions were:

Who am I? What am I searching for? Why am I here?
Here are my answers:

Well the answer to the first question would definitely have to be that I am a sinner saved by grace and nothing more. I don't deserve the grace that I have received however I have because He is that loving that He literally defines the word! I am a person who is letting the person of Christ indwell me so much to the point that He is changing the way I think, act, love and many more things. I am a man possessed with the Spirit and I'm acting out of the filling that I have of Him and splashing Him everywhere I go because the simple fact that He is so big I can't contain Him in myself that He just overflows. I am a student and am learning of areas of my life that could be considered the "dark corners" that I seem to hold on to and will give everything to Him except those. I am discovering those corners and repenting of those and giving them up to Him so He can dominate every part of my life even down to the food I eat! I am definitely a seeker of Christ so much so that I am addicted to Him and only Him so that He becomes so big in my life that I cannot see anything but Him. He becomes the gate for all other things in my life to flow through and get filtered out if they are not of Him. The entire reason that I exist or the reason that I'm here is to serve Him and to be transparent so that He can be seen in and through my life. I am the broken pot, empty vessel, or the unfinished clay that He continues to mold towards His very image. I am being stretched and grown continually in Him and realize that is it not constant tests but Holiness that drives me towards the person of who He is. I live only to glorify the name of Jesus and to have His story told in and through me. I testify to the gospel of God's grace that has happened and continues to happen in my life. I am a living, walking, talking, breathing, eating testimony of the person of Christ! 1 Corinthians 15:10 says it best "But by the grace of God I am what I am..." I am nothing without the person of Jesus!

Day 33- Shout!

As I was reading in the Old Testament today I came across my favorite Psalm that I memorized when I was little. It's Psalm 95:1-7, it tells us: "Come, let us sing for joy to the Lord; let us shout aloud to the Rock of our salvation. Let us come before him with thanksgiving and extol him with music and song. For the Lord is the great God, the great King above all gods. In his hand are the depths of the earth, and the mountain peaks belong to him. The sea is his, for he made it, and his hands formed the dry land. Come, let us bow down in worship, let us kneel before the Lord our Maker for he is our God and we are the people of his pasture, the flock under his care." I don't know about you but that's powerful to me, how can I sit still and be in church and just cross my arms and not SHOUT?? I mean we shout generally when something is overbearing either in a good way or a bad way, so since Jesus is so good to me and love me so much and just overwhelms me I have to SHOUT!! Have you ever been overwhelmed so much that you've shouted? Sure you have, maybe you've been overwhelmed with pain, or so frustrated that you had to, or so joyful that the only thing left to do is SHOUT! I want to have that be the only outcome of my life is to live in a constant state of SHOUTING. Maybe not with words but with my actions and my lifestyle. I need to be SHOUTING up to Him with everything that I do, think or say!! Let everything that I have be a SHOUT up to you of just praise and adoration!! I don't want to live one more moment in silence because I'm just spilling over with Jesus and the only response is to SHOUT!!! So I SHOUT and SHOUT to the most high with my unworthy SHOUTS but I give all I am to the SHOUTING that You deserve!

Day 32- Demons In The Synagogue

In Mark 1:21-28 it talks of Jesus driving out a demon that was in a man. What part I found interesting on this was the fact that the demon was possessing a man that was in the synagogue. Have you ever thought that there is no way that a demon or satan himself could never be in church? I know I have before because we always view church as a sacred and safe place. However this tells us that the demon was in church, and I wondered how could this be? The fact of the matter is that we can bring demons, or even satan himself into the church. Then the question has been asked before what is church? Is church a building with 4 walls and a roof? Of course not, we are the new houses of prayer so WE ARE THE CHURCH. It is not the building we go to, we compile the church itself and when we get together we are a unified church because the Jesus that lives inside of me is connected with the Jesus that is inside you and it's a glorious time of worship and praise because we just can't help ourselves. So how then do demons or does satan break into this sacred ground that we call church? The answer is simple and disturbing, we allow him to come in, and of course when we allow him to come in then Jesus leaves. We often times have a hard time grasping this however you can't have both satan and Jesus living in the same house, I mean talk about a conflict of interest!! You can't have the pure divine nature of God living inside of you and the carnal, dark, self serving nature of the devil living in there also. It is impossible!!! I know that back in the 90s the popular thing was to have a ying yang. It is a circle and it's like two curved tear drops and one is black and one is white. In each side there is a dot of the opposite color in them and this signified that there was a little good in all evil and a little evil in all good. Of course I had one of these things and didn't comprehend the fullness of what it meant, but now I look at that "symbol" and get mad! I mean how can it say that Jesus has some bad in Him and that the devil has some good in him? That is just impossible, we know this because it says so in His word. 1 John 1:5-7 "This is the message we have heard from him and declare to you: God is light; in him there is no darkness at all. If we claim to have fellowship with him yet walk in the darkness, we lie and do not live by the truth. But if we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus, his Son, purifies us from all sin." So that being said, we cannot have both living inside of us, either we are this on fire beaming light for Christ or we are in the darkness that satan calls home. Which are you? Do you have Demons In Your Synagogue? Or are you a house of prayer that Jesus dwells in? Lord let me never think that I can be on the fence, or live in the gray area of You because I know there isn't such a thing. Let me be Your beam of light in a dark world!

Day 31- No Real Estate In Heaven

We have all heard about the "mansions" in heaven that there will be. It is so funny because we often think of an actual house. However if you get to the root of the word it means "Dwelling Place". I love this concept, this concept of Dwelling Place gives the idea that there won't be a physical house up there, but yet that WE will be the dwelling place or the mansion. Now you might be thinking that if we are "mansions" then we're going to be huge and it's going to be one huge buffet in the sky. No no, this just means that when we get up there He has a perfect body ready and waiting for us so that He can live inside of us even more because it's not a body cursed with sin. Man I know how this must be to so many songs out there that focus on the actual house itself but that isn't what He's talking about at all. Another thing too we often get wrapped up in the streets of gold and pearly gates aspect of heaven too. I find this amusing because up there do you really think we'll have a need for money? Will the worth that it is down here be the same up there? I doubt it, we look at those as a precious thing, but I want to be so into Him that those things don't matter. I feel like those are things that we just relate to and that heaven will be so much more than fine jewelry and gold. The true value of it will be that we get to see our Creator and Savior. I can't wait to see Him and just to bask in the presence of His glory up there and be able to with a perfect body. Wow that will be quite a time. We often sing of how we will have victory up there some day. But I think again that's so off because I have victory down here right now because my victory rests in the person of Christ!! And if I have Him now then I have VICTORY!! Jesus never let me focus on the perishable things of heaven, or even heaven itself. I want to be completely focused on You, wrapped up in You, honed in on You!! Let that be the center of my living and my life and not material things because I know that there is No Real Estate In Heaven!

Day 30- Pervert Of A Preacher

I listened to a "preacher" the other day and was disgusted at how he was using the scripture. He took a topic and wrapped various texts around this to make it sound like he wanted it to. As I sat there I realized that he was perverting the Word and making it say something that it wasn't. This really bothered me and I almost stood up and said something, in hindsight I should have. But the fact that he was wrapping the Word around his idea and not the other way around made me think of him as a Pervert. He was misusing and violating the Word of God to make himself look good in a sense, and make him feel good about his topic. I feel very strongly about this and I think that is obvious by the words I'm using. But I believe it goes even more so into our lives when somebody does that, it shows that we seem to wrap the Scripture around our lives and not the other way around. I believe that we need to wrap our lives around the Scripture and if we need to bend or even break because of it then so be it! I don't want to be perverse in my preaching, I want Him to speak out of me so I'm not taking a chance to making the message polluted with my thoughts. If I speak out of my knowledge then it is only limited to the amount of wisdom, and insight that can be and it might not reach every person. But when we preach the Word or use the Word in our lives then it can't be limited because He is not. We can't keep on living like we do in a world where this is OK that "preachers" will get up on Sunday morning or whenever it is and pollute the Word. I have said this before in previous blogs but we must be so rooted in the Word that we see a wolf in the sheep's wool! Lord be so big in my life that I do nothing but emit an odor that is You. I want so deeply to wrap my life around You and Your Word! Don't ever let me get in the way of Your teaching and NEVER let me be a Pervert Of A Preacher! Let Your pure words come from my mouth so that it touches everyone on every level of their life.

Day 29- So Righteous I'm Sick

In Mark 2:16-17 it says: "When the teachers of the law who were Pharisees saw him eating with the “sinners” and tax collectors, they asked his disciples: “Why does he eat with tax collectors and ‘sinners’?” On hearing this, Jesus said to them, “It is not the healthy who need a doctor, but the sick. I have not come to call the righteous, but sinners.” I found these verses so interesting because Jesus said He's not calling the righteous, but sinners. I wonder why that is? Could it be because people that are "righteous" are so wrapped up in themselves and think they operate out of their own power? And that maybe "sinners" realize they need something more and just don't know what it is? So why call a righteous person when they think they're being called because of the works that they are doing, when that's not the case at all. They are being called because of God's love for them and wanting them to draw closer to Him. I am not sure, I haven't go this far in my studies as far as expositionally but reading it over and seeing that makes me think so much. I don't want to be so righteous that people look at me and think that I'm doing something out of my own means. I want them to realize that I'm just a sinner saved by grace and that without Him I'm nothing. I don't EVER want the focus to be on me but always pointed back to Jesus. These verses also speak to me in the sense of witnessing. Why do we always focus on the people who have good jobs, or can pay the most tithe and blow off the homeless person who is begging for food? It bothers me that we brush over these people and think of them as less than the guy with the eel skin wallet who has 100s in there. The homeless person who stinks, is hungry, and has no teeth is just as loved by God as the other. They are on an equal playing field when it comes to Him, but I seem to treat them differently. Why is that? If God lives in and through me then I'm making Him out to be a liar by saying the homeless person isn't as important and that we should keep our heads down and walk right by them. I need to be ridded of that mindset of somebody being better or more important than someone else. We are all equal in God's eyes and I need to be that equality in the world. Because if I'm not then I'm saying that God isn't either if I'm declaring to be a Christian. I'm tired of being So Righteous I'm Sick! Let me be a "sinner" so You can call me to what You want!

Day 28- The "At Once" Point

I was reading Mark 1:17-18 and it says: “Come, follow me,” Jesus said, “and I will make you fishers of men.” At once they left their nets and followed him." Mark is thought to be a book that is the perspective of Peter, and that possibly Mark was just the scribe. I can see this the more I read it because I think Peter probably had what we like to call ADD. He was always the first one to act and speak. There are so many times in the book of Mark that the words Immediately or At Once are used that Peter was probably writing this to ADD children ha ha ha. But this instance is pretty awesome, Jesus is telling Simon and Andrew to follow Him and they just drop what they were doing and do it. How often do we do that? How often do we "At Once" for Jesus? How often do we question what His logic is behind it all or wonder why in the world He wants us to do something? I know in my own life I question so much it isn't even funny and I need to get to the "At Once" point that I don't think about if God has had His morning cup of coffee yet or if He's had a long night and isn't thinking straight. I just act because He is acting through me and there aren't any questions or even reasons of why I'm doing something, I'm just a man possessed by the Spirit of Christ acting like I can't act. Doing things that don't make sense to me but are in His divine plan!! What would it take for us to reach the "At Once" point where we throw our worries or concerns into the wind and just, well, "At Once". Let that be so in my life, I toss my cares up to You and will let You be the "At Once" point every moment!

Day 27- Faith Like A Child

You know in Mark 10:15 where it says: "I tell you the truth, anyone who will not receive the kingdom of God like a little child will never enter it."? As I began to think on this I was trying to think how a child thinks. This may come easier to some of us considering that we are big kids, however I tried to think of it how Jesus meant. What this truly says to me is that unless we are naive enough to trust God completely we are not able to enter the kingdom of heaven. Have you ever heard that term Naively Trusting? I heard it about 3 years ago and it was almost foreign to me because when somebody says something I'm so quick to analyze it and question the motives of it and why they're saying it. I never want to trust something at face value, even if it is somebody I trust. I mean it takes a lot for somebody to earn my trust. Let's think about it how often would you trust a complete stranger to watch your wallet while you go and get change? Not often, unless we have all our money in the bank and we're insured or we don't have any $ in our wallet. We are not a trusting people by nature, we are a carnal natured people and are in it for ourselves. What if we got out of that mindset with God and moved into the trusting state He wants us to be in? What if we became naively trusting with others around us to show them that God wants us to be that way? We are to reflect Christ, no wait, we are to let Him be Himself to our world through us. So how better to show God's love to somebody than to be naively trusting towards them. Now I'm not saying to let a stranger hold your wallet while you go and get change, however I'm saying what would it take for you to get to that point? At what point can we reach that? The answer is simple and always right...Jesus! Only if He lives inside and shines and trusts through us can that happen. What a Jesus to let me have Faith Like a Child!

Day 26- Til Death Do Us Part And Beyond

I was reading in Mark today and I read how John the Baptist was beheaded. This got me to thinking how much He loved God and was committed to Him. He loved God so much so that death was nothing to him, and getting beheaded wasn't a stumbling block at all. He was going to radiate Jesus to everyone in his world, even if it meant that it would be the end of him. Which it was! I want that passion in my life, so that people can know the love of Jesus so much so by just being next to me or around me or have them speak my name. I don't want the focus to be on me but on Him, so when you think of me I want it to be an immediate equal sign to Him. If somebody mentions my name let them think of a Jesus Freak who won't shut up about Him. Do you ever get to the point where you know somebody who won't shut up about Jesus? Like that's all they talk about and of course they say it when you're mad or in a bad mood, or just don't want to hear it? I want to be that person, I don't want to be a fair weather fan when it comes to Jesus, I want to be an in the rain, snow, and hail kind of fan. Where I just radiate the person of Christ to my world by my very being there because I'm an open vessel. I don't ever want to shut up about Jesus and I want to relate everything back to Him and let Him be the focal point of my relationships, experiences, and attitudes. I want to wrap my life around the Scriptures and let that be the substance that comes out if you squeeze me like a sponge! I want to ooze Jesus when I sweat, speak, drool, whatever happens! I want the people in my life and who I encounter to know beyond a shadow of a doubt that I love Jesus so much I would lay my life down so somebody would know the person of Christ. I don't want that to be a limit on the way He does ministry through me. I want nothing to be a stumbling block to me least of all death. I want to love Him Til Death Do Us Part and Beyond because I will then be in the arms of my Savior! Death where is thy sting? How true that is!

Day 25- Sprinting To Him

I began to think about this song I heard today "Marvelous Light", at least I think that's the name of it. It says "Into Marvelous Light I'm running, out of darkness, out of shame." I really like this song because it defines so much for me. For instance, I am so in love with the person of Jesus that I am sprinting towards Him in so many ways, and the only way to stop me would be to kill me on the spot. However I began to think about that too and that wouldn't do anything but make me closer to Him, so really the only way for me to stop getting closer to Him is for me to stop running towards Him. So either I'm sprinting or stopped, I think that this defines Christianity pretty well, either we're sprinting or we're stopped in our relationship with God. If we're sprinting towards Him then we are putting Him first and almost having a tunnel vision for Him. But if we're stopped then we are completely dead and out of breath, and our tunnel vision for Him becomes this wide view. We begin to think about things other than Him in our life and take a different path or start thinking about ourselves and how much our lungs hurt instead of looking towards the prize at hand. However I don't want this to be like when we die we get to heaven and it's all over I mean that there is a constant prize that we are striving towards always even into eternity. If we view heaven as an end then we are almost viewing it as something that I get out of the deal, when we don't deserve anything at all. I want to have Jesus Tunnel Vision so much so that when people look at me they have to know that I'm focused so much on Him nothing can get in my way except myself. I'm sprinting towards You Lord and I won't stop even if I run the shoes off my feet! May you be the goal I'm running towards and the finish line that I want to achieve. I want to know you more and I'll let my lungs burn to do it!

Day 24- Spiritual Life

I was listening to this Pastor the other day and he was saying that we often refer to our "church life". Meaning anything that is associated with church or church things is our spiritual life. However he pointed out that everything is our spiritual life, LIFE IS SPIRITUAL and we are to live it as such. If we take God out of things that we do then we are limiting Him. I began to think of this as far as my life goes, how many areas of my life do I allow God in? How many I should allow Him in (which of course is all of them)? Why don't I allow Him to have His fingers mixing up all areas of my life? Instead of having a spiritual life that I put limits on God, living a spiritual life. I feel like the word have means to own something, but to live means for something bigger than you to control it. Maybe that's just my weird definition of what those two mean but it feels like that. I no longer want to have any dark corners that God doesn't know about and control, I want Him to be involved in my life and to live His life through me. Then and only then will I LIVE A SPIRITUAL LIFE!! So from now on "How is your spiritual life?", expect me to answer that my life is awesome! I want nothing outside of a Spiritual Life, may God be in the center of my eating, drinking, clothes, marriage, finances, friendships, work, driving, talk and any other areas that are invisible to me but He knows about. Let Him reveal those dark corners I didn't know I had and take them from me. Lord let my life be a Spiritual Life in You!

Day 23- Desire

I have been reading the book by A.W. Tozer The Pursuit of God. Wow what a great book, I'm only part way into the 3rd chapter and it is phenomenal! There seems to be a pattern of a quote at the end of every chapter. They aren't quotes that warm the soul, they are quotes that step on the toes of all who don't abide by them, and to those who do make them uncomfortable enough to stretch to the next level. Here is the one from Chapter 1: "O God, I have tasted Thy goodness, and it has both satisfied me and made me thirsty for more. I am painfully conscious of my need of further grace. I am ashamed of my lack of desire. O god, the Triune God, I want to want Thee; I long to be filled with longing; I thirst to be made thirsty still. Show me Thy glory, I pray Thee, that so I may know Thee indeed. Begin in mercy a new work of love within me. Say to my soul, "Rise up, my love, my fair one, and come away." Then give me grace to rise and follow Thee up from this misty lowland where I have wandered so long. In Jesus' name. Amen. Wow this spoke to me volumes, my only desire needs to be Him so much so that my thirst causes more thirst. It's almost like drinking salt water, it only makes you more thirsty. Let me drink the saltwater of Jesus that is the true Living Water!! I do truly long to long more for Jesus. Let me rest in the person that You are and truly live in Your presence and let me be content in the simplicity that You are! I know that my satisfaction cannot be in anything other than You and if I seek it elsewhere I will not be satisfied until I come back to the resting place that I find in You!