Where I'm at and Where I want to be.

Ever feel like you're at a cross road in life and you need to make some major decisions that will determine the outcome of your future. Yeah I'm there. I wish there was some sort of logic I could put this equation of a life into and it would pop out the most logical answer and we would take it. But as I've found if I'm able to accomplish whatever it is on my own then God seems to go the other direction. Which makes sense because if I could do it then why would I need God, right? Well we're "home" over winter in Kalamazoo, MI. I can't say it's one of my most favorite places to be but it's "home" for now.



I've found myself with a lot of time on my hands as I search for a job until February. In that free time I seem to be taking a step back in my life and analyzing what seems to be most important in life: Car, House, Job, Family...Jesus. It's interesting because at first I thought of the first things on my short list then Jesus. But as I'm waking up when I want and accomplishing the little tasks that make the house run and my wife happy, I'm finding more and more that first part of the list is seeming to fade and Jesus is becoming more and more the entire list! I know that sounds cheesy and very much a preacher answer, however it's true. I am not fixed on income (although it's nice to have), a house, cars, starting a family. Rather I'm finding myself looking more towards the Savior who laid His life down for me.



Now don't get me wrong it's not as though I was not fixing myself on Jesus before, but it just seems to be that I am wanting MORE. I find myself often in the company of men and women who know the scripture much better than me and seem to be very intelligent. I'm not saying that I'm a dumb man or even middle of the road, I'm smart. Not brilliant, but smart, smart enough to realize when I want MORE of something for the right reason.



I'm finding that I'm wanting more of Jesus in my life because I want my relationship with Him to grow. I want to be more sensitive of His voice. I want to know when He's speaking to me and when it's Satan. I want to know where He is wanting me to go and what He is wanting me to do. I am wanting more of that and I know that the only way to grow deeper with Him is to read scripture, pray, search for answers not because of a study, or because of a sermon. But because I want to know Him more.



I want to be able to see Jesus in the falling snow, blades of grass, in the wind and all the natural beauties that are around me all the time. I want to be able to see Jesus in every aspect of my life and take the time to do that. When is the last time you stopped to smell the roses, not for the smell, but to smell what He might smell like in them? When is the last time you stopped to watch the sunset or sunrise to see what was created by God in the beginning? Let's take time to realize these things and to have a want inside of us that yearns for Jesus because you want your relationship to be better.



Mind you everything I've said above is a late night/early morning rant and I'm probably going to be after this, but it's my heart and it's out there. Bottom line is that I love Jesus and want to love Him more. Would you join me in this effort to love Jesus like you've never loved Him before?